An Apron Away From A Straitjacket

So quick bright things come to confusion

2011-02-27T14:42:00.003-06:00

My favorite day of the year, March 15th, is quickly approaching. I know it may seem silly for my favorite day to be chosen just because of an old English pseudonym, but alas, fair cousin, 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of public ridicule than to bare arms against a sea of people who have their own little quirks, and by opposing, end them. Soooooooooo yeah, I like me some Ides of March and all the thou arts that go along with it. And yes, even my offspring find it a bit odd, although I think Nate may have received a slight nibble from the touch of Shakespeare fairy (must've been whilst reading A Midsummer Night's Dream, har har har).

Every year about this time I start to get a little over zealous with my Shakespeare (if you couldn't tell) and tend to throw it into everyday situations as often and as unexpected as possible. The quotes and nods grow stronger each day until finally it erupts into a Volcano of "Et tu Brute?"'s after every other sentence. Imagine it in the likes of the "That's what she said" silliness. for example:

Brave friend #1: "I really liked that movie, it made me feel warm inside."
Me: "Et tu Brute?"
Brave friend #1: "What??"
Me: "Et tu Bruteeeeeee?" (said with the trailing voice of death)
Brave friend #1: "Ummmm, are you feeling ok? Maybe I should take you home."
Me: "Et tu Brute?!" (now including the dramatic shaking of fist in the air)
Brave friend #1: "Dude, seriously, I think I need to get you home and into bed."
Me: "That's what she said!" (honestly, who could pass that one up?)

So there you have it, the muddled, fuddled, wacky pack world of my brain cells. Hold on tight, we're going into the great unknown, Horatio and it's going to get bumpy!

Peace Ho!

Long time No see

2011-02-06T02:34:00.002-06:00

Cough, cough, hack, hack! Dang it's dusty in here. Someone should really keep up with this place better, the cyber dust is grueling!

Well blogity world how the heck have ya been? Been a little crazy on my side of the monitor, which is why I disappeared for so long and also what has brought me back. This place started out as my way of venting some of the millions of things that run though my head and as those "things" started to get a little difficult, I found myself trapped. It was as if my fingers were wrapped in the duct tape of censorship for fear of the wrong person reading it and creating an avalanche of more problems.

Now my corner of cyberville has been stagnant long enough and situations have changed to the point that the air is once again free. Ahhhhh, free air smells good! A touch dusty, but good nonetheless.

You know, it's strange, but just having reclaimed my hunk of electrons has released quite a bit of tension and I actually feel relaxed enough to finally go to bed.

Soooo, I'm going to bed!

Sorry for the odd post about nothing terribly interesting. I will be back to discuss more later, but for now, please grab a chair and talk amongst yourselves.

Goodnight sweet dusty electrons!

Just some cool stuff

2009-02-23T16:10:00.001-06:00

Bad Attitudes and Hot Cellists

2009-02-23T13:20:00.005-06:00

Well things have been a bit icky pewy yuck and due to not really having anything nice to say, I haven't spent much time here. As much as I'd love to just write it all down and let the pieces fall where they may, I realize that it would just drive wedges between people I care about. So, I'm going to ask that you bare with me as I muddle through biting my tongue in effort not to offend while still allowing some self expression to seep out the release valve. Meanwhile, here's a loverly song that sums up my general crummy attitude.

WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS A BIT RISQUE, DARK, AND CREEPY

Apocalyptica - I Don't Care Featuring Adam Gontier of Three Days Grace (Official Music Video)

Bitter Chocolates

2009-02-14T12:22:00.007-06:00

Well here it is, what used to be one of my favorite days, Valentine's Day. I remember being a wee lass filled with bubbly giggles just thinking about Valentine's Day. I didn't even mind having to write the annual English report on the history of Valentine's Day, as a matter of fact I loved it. The beautiful story behind all these nifty heart shaped goodies that lovers exchange just made my heart smile. Then I married my husband, who although a great guy, is about as romantic as a colonoscopy. He even told me before we got married that he doesn't do holidays and felt that Valentine's Day was nothing more than a commercial rip off. So here in honor of my husband are your Anti Valentine's Day candy, card, and flowers. Enjoy!

FYI: I still wouldn't trade him for a box of chocolates, unless of course they're Godiva Chocolates or maybe even a really, really, large box of Ferrero Rocher. Oh and if you've been lucky enough to marry an anti-romance man like I have, just take his credit card and buy yourself something pretty, then have a girl's night out with your BFF.

Anyone Have Some Spare Prozac?

2009-02-04T21:57:00.007-06:00

Sorry about falling off the face of the blogosphere for a bit. I'm still fighting with that "Life is way too hectic monster" that keeps nipping at me heels. I'm glad to report that I am still here even though my ankles are a bit bloody. Ewww, that was kinda icky. My bad.

I'm actually quite tired and am trying to keep myself from crawling into bed like an old worn out dog. Maybe if I SPRUNG into bed like a young spirited pup, that wouldn't be so bad, but Alas, I crawl. Anyhoo, tonight was CORN (Clean.Out.Refridgerator.Now) night and I scored the last of the Chinese food. Yeaaaaaah baby! So I get everything all ready and grabbed a fork and napkin. It was at this moment when I had a flash of all my freakish little habits. Actually, I shouldn't say ALL because they wouldn't all fit in a mere "flash", so we'll just go with some of them.

The first of which is my NEED to have a napkin when I eat. If I don't have a napkin, I feel oddly out of place and unable to actually enjoy whatever it is that I'm eating. This is even for things like cookies. As a matter of fact, I usually have an emergency napkin at my desk, just in case I decide to do a little techno noshing and need to blot my fingertips. I think maybe it started from my teaching the boys proper etiquette. They always had to have their napkins across their lap before we could start eating and if I ever caught them starting without one, I'd ask "how can you be eating if you don't have a napkin?". Nothing better than self inflicted psycho compulsions.

Another is my weirdness about having to eat with a fork. I realize that this is going to sound so very wrong to many of you, but I eat pizza, french fries, & fried chicken with a fork. Oh you should see me in action with that fried chicken, it's like a little poultry ballet (or so I tell myself, being as "ballet" sounds much better than "loony bin").

Then there's my germaphobe tendencies about washing your hands. I can't stand to have dirty hands. I don't mean like when you're doing hard work in the yard or fixing a car or something, but in your every day life. After you've turned the nob on six doors, or pulled your hair back in a pony tail, or blown your nose, or used someone else's keyboard, or gone to the bathroom for goodness sake WASH YOUR HANDS! Oh and in the kitchen I'm an uber freak! First, before I do anything, I wash my hands, then I get the required mixing bowls and utensils, wash my hands, get the food out of the fridge, wash my hands, open a cabinet to get spices, wash my hands, crack an egg, wash my hands, put item into cooking container, wash my hands, put it in oven/on stove wash my hands, remove item from oven/stove, wash my hands. Rather exhausting eh?

Lastly is hair and food. Seriously, am I the only person who gets grossed out by the thought of hair in my food? If you have long hair (meaning past your chin) and your are going to be within 5 feet of food in my kitchen then you WILL have your hair tied back or CUT OFF!!!!! This is one of the main reasons that I don't have my own show in Rachel Ray's time slot. I can't stand to watch those TV chef's cooking away with their hair just flouncing about. UUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH. THAT IS SO NASTY! We're talking so nasty that it has to call Janet by "Miss Jackson". Wow did I really make that 80's song reference? Guess I've been married to Dan for too long, or maybe that's why he married me in the first place. Hmmm, I should go to the top of a loverly mountain and ponder that, but first I should wash my hands.

Snow Chicks and Toast

2009-01-27T10:34:00.011-06:00

We woke up this morning and peeked out the window to see lots of snow. For those of you who've never had the joy of an Oklahoma snow, never, and I mean NEVER get into a snowball fight here. You see, Oklahoma snow isn't what the rest of the world knows as light fluffy snow, it's sleet cleverly disguised as snow. One pelt upside the head from an Oklahoma snowball could very likely send little cartoon birdies spinning around your head and leave you with a whelp the size of Utah.

Speaking of birdies, with the ground being all frosted over I tossed a loverly batch of rolls out for the birds and squirrels, just to make sure they had a little snack. One little squirrel sprinted over, snatched up a roll and raced back up the tree before the birds could hog it all. I just loved how he was using his fluffy tail as an umbrella.

After watching all the birds nibble on their bread, Miss Danielle said that she wanted to be a birdie and have snow and toast for breakfast and there was no way I could resist such a cutie patootie request. Being as our loverly old house leaks some serious cold air from under the cabinets, I wanted out of the kitchen as soon as possible so let me share with you my cheating version of cinnamon toast sticks.

First, cut the bread into strips with a pair of kitchen scissors. Please note that the quality of the pictures decreases as we go along due to my frozen toes wanting to get out quick!

Then scoot all the pieces together and give them a coat of butter flavored non stick spray and sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar. Hey, everyone else got to stay home from work for a snow day, I think I'm allowed to slack a bit in the nutrition arena. Don't be hatin'.

Toss them into a 400F preheated oven and then turn off the heat while you cook the eggs (about 10 mins).

Pair them up with bacon pieces to make a nest for the egg yolk birdies to stay warm from the egg white snowflakes.

To make the birdies and snowflakes, I separated the egg yolks and whites and cooked them up omelet style. Once they were done I simply cut them with cookie cutters.

Freaky Friday - Revenge of the Pachyderms

2009-01-23T15:38:00.007-06:00

Great googaly moogaly what the heck is wrong with people?! I think little baby elephants are unbelievably cute, but when some freakish person puts them into baby clothes it just makes them look a little....well....freakish. Look into those eyes. Oh sure they may seem cute at first, but then you pan out a bit and realize those eyes belong to some half elephant, half baby DNA mutation that could trample you while you're sleeping. The best part is that she comes with a pacifier that "fits right into the tip of her trunk". TRUNK???? Since when do pacifiers belong up one's nose? I'm not sure what kind of whacked out version of "Animal Planet" they're watching over there at The Ashton-Drake Galleries, but someone needs to send in an intervention STAT!

Just in case one of you has a secret mutated elephant/baby fetish here's the link so you can bring "Claire" home to be part of your family:

www.collectiblestoday.com

While we're talking about freaky elephant things. Here's a nice nightmare inducing clip to share with all the little ones in your life. My therapist thanks you Disney!

Life's For Sharing

2009-01-18T15:44:00.003-06:00

This is just cool.

Insert Chicken-ish Title Here or Here Or Over There

2009-01-17T22:49:00.002-06:00

It seems that I had one of those brain farts at the store before Christmas and bought some phyllo dough. Seriously, I have no idea why I bought this stuff. Don't get me wrong, it's wonderfully loverly stuff that is great for getting your blood flow pumping from trying to keep it from drying out as you frantically throw your dish together. I just don't have the patients to work with this stuff on a normal bases. So I've been trying to come up with ideas as to what to do with it. I also was looking for something exciting to do with a wee bit of cheese left from the block and a few pieces of cooked bacon that needed to be used and so Chicken Rolls were born {insert owooos and ahhhhhs here}.

First tip O'the day is instead of brushing melted butter between each sheet of phyllo, put the melted butter in a spray bottle and just spritz it on. Yes, I realize this little "ah ha" moment will change your life for the better and you just heard angelic horns blowing and the sun just separated the clouds and is now shining a rainbow through your front window. Feel free to name your first born after me.

Let's see...yes, Chicken Rolls. Take 3 lbs of chicken, toss in pot with a smidgen of your favorite herbs, fill with water just to cover chicken and boil for an hour or two, until the chicken is no longer pink and the bones are easily removed.

Strain chicken, while saving cooking water. Remove bones, toss back into cooking water and place back on stove to simmer for another hour. Strain bones from water (which is now broth) and freeze in 1 cup portions. Cut up cooked chicken and separate into 3 Ziploc baggies. Place 2 in the freezer and keep one for making the chicken rolls.

You can also cheat and buy 2 cups worth of caned/pouched cooked chicken and forget I ever said anything about putting chicken in a pot. I promise not to judge(or tell).

Now throw the cooked chicken in a big bowl. Add cooked bacon, chopped fresh spinach, shredded cheese and ranch dressing. Stir it all together while you pray that you're able to get the phyllo dough to roll up.

Place 1 sheet of phyllo dough on rolling surface, spritz with butter, top with another sheet of phyllo dough, spritz, repeat with one more sheet of dough. Now you have your rolling dough made from 3 sheets of phyllo. Was anyone else taken back to elementary school worded math problems?

Put a couple of large spoonfuls of the chicken mixture on the short end of the phyllo dough, fold long sides over mixture and then roll up like an egg roll. Put on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350F for about 25 mins.

CHICKEN ROLLS

2 cups chopped cooked chicken
1/2 cup finely chopped fresh spinach
1/4 cup crumbled bacon
1/3 cup ranch dressing
1 cup shredded cheese
pkg phyllo dough

1. Mix all ingredients, except phyllo dough together in large bowl.
2. Stack phyllo dough in sets of 3 spritzing melted butter between each layer.
3. Place a couple of large spoonfuls of chicken mix on short end of phyllo dough.
4. Fold ends over and roll up like an egg roll.
5. Bake for abou5 25 minutes at 350 degrees F.

Thank God For The FBI

2009-01-14T11:26:00.003-06:00

A friend of mine forwarded this to me the other day asking me if I'd check for her to see if it was real. This person sends stuff like this to me frequently and is truly sincere in her interest as to it's validity. First, I'll let you scan over it. We'll talk more in a moment.

--- On Mon, 1/12/09, FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION wrote:
From: FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION Subject: F.B.I INVESTIGATION.To: Date: Monday, January 12, 2009, 10:42 AM
ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONETARY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
Website: www.fbi.gov

ATTN: BENEFICIARY.

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly completed an Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, none officials of Oceanic Bank, none officials of Zenith Bank and some impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation agents and EFCC and ICPC. During our Investigation, it came to our notice that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.

So therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by coordinating your payment in the total amount of $800,000.00 USD which will be deposited into an ATM CARD which you will use to withdraw funds anywhe Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation has been involved in this transaction, you are now to be rest assured that this transaction is legitimate and completely risk-free as it is our duty to Protect and Serve citizens of the United States Of America.

We also notice that some imposter has been claiming to be one of our offices; I want you to stop anything you have with any of them and proceed with Mr. Paul Smith, is the only person in change of this matter.

All you have to do is immediately contact the ATM CARD CENTER via E-mail for instructions on how to procure your Approval Slip which contains details on how to receive and activate your ATM CARD for immediate use to withdraw funds being paid to you. We have confirmed that the amount required to procure the Approval Slip will cost you a total of $496 USD which will be paid directly to the ATM CARD CENTER agent via Western Union Money Transfer / MoneyGram Money Transfer. Below, you shall find contact details of the Agent whom will process your transaction from Federal Minister of Finance: We have agreement with the federal government of Nigeria that you must pay for the approval slip for them to confirm that you are the real possessor of this card.

CONTACT INFORMATION FEDERAL MINISTER OF FINANCE.
ATM CARD CENTRE
NAME: MR. PAUL SMITH
CELL PHONE: +234-70 8515 0758
EMAIL: info@atmcard-centre.com
CONTACT CODE 555

Immediately contact Mr. Paul Smith of the ATM Card Centre with the following information:

Full Name: Address:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Direct Phone Number:
Current Occupation:

Contact code 555, use this code and contact Mr. Paul Smith because of the impostors in Nigeria. Once you have sent the required information to Mr. Paul Smith he will contact you with instructions on how to make the payment of $496 USD for the Approval Slip after which he will proceed towards delivery of the ATM CARD without any further delay.

You have hereby been authorized/guaranteed by the Federal Bureau Of Investigation to commence towards completing this transaction, as there shall be NO delay once payment for the Approval Slip has been made to the authorized agent.

Once you have completed payment of $496 to the agent in charge of this transaction, immediately contact us back for more investigation for conformation of your ATM card. The both offices are working 24hours to get this project complete.

Federal Bureau Investigation
Robert S. Mueller III
Director, FBI
------

Now there are some slight give aways that tell us this is a fake. Just in case you, like my dear friend, need some help spotting them, let me point out a few.

The FBI knows how to use proper English.
The FBI has enough money to afford a spell checking program.
The FBI knows your name doesn't need to call you "Beneficiary" .
The Director of the FBI has other things to worry about than your $496.
Lastly, have you ACTUALLY talked to anyone claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria?

Glad we could have this little talk and I hope it gave you a giggle. The sad part is that there's still people out there falling for this mess. Now stay out of Nigerian banks!

Good Morning Muffins

2009-01-12T12:30:00.000-06:00

I'm out of laundry soap (recipe here) and need to make some more, but I have been putting it off for a bit because as I have to hand grate the soap (UGH I miss my food processor). Being as we're down to the underwear with holes and the "I'm with Stupid" t-shirts, I think I better get me bum in gear and get to grating. But first I have to tell you about the fantastic muffins I made yesterday before church.

As I've said before I'm always looking to sneak in healthy good stuff wherever I can, and these little beauties are full of whole grain, fruity, fiber-tastic deliciousness. They are moist, tasty and even my hubby was sneaking them off the plate. He asked me today if I wrote down how I made them so we could have them again. I must confess a little tear of joy welled up in eye.

Good Morning Muffins

1 egg
2 tablespoons coconut oil
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup lowfat cottage cheese
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 cup oatmeal
1/2 cup wheat germ
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 cups diced apple
1/2 cup shredded carrot
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup coconut flakes

Mix wet ingredients together. Add dry ingredients and stir just until moistened. Toss in fruits/veggies and mix together.

Batter doesn't rise much so fill muffin cups as full as you want your muffin to be.

Bake at 375F for 16 min if making full size muffins, 10 mins if making minis.

makes 12 regular or 36 minis.

******
Oh and if anyone has ideas on how to use up a pound of jalapenos, a cup of peach juice, and a dozen eggs please fill me in.

My fridge and I both thank you!

Saturday's Soapbox

2009-01-10T16:00:00.000-06:00

You know it's such a loverly day today I thought we'd just take a walk in the sun. OUCH! Oh my, I just stubbed my toe on something. What's this? A soapbox? Well, gee willikers who am I to waste a perfectly good soapbox? Let me just climb up here a second. Goodness so many topics from which to chose.

Let's just start with environmental snobs. Let me preface by saying that I used to work for a grassroots environmental lobbyist organization. I worked long hours on things like bringing curbside recycling to Oklahoma, requiring better ground water protection from garbage dumps and battling corporate hog farms (who btw are nasty nasty nasty polluters of both our environment and our bodies). I've lived totally off the grid, complete with bicycle powered generator, and was a vegetarian for years. In my heart, I will always be a hairy legged, tree hugging, bandanna wearing hippie. That being said, I'm sick of these, "I'm better than you" trendy greenies who treat people like poo just because they don't have their own compost pile. Poo, compost pile, that's kinda funny. Anyhoo, if you really believe in a cause, you'll take any help you can get, be it big or small. Even Ed Begley, Jr. had to start somewhere.

I was at the store a while back and this woman in line behind me made quite a stink about the sign the store had hanging about switching to green bulbs.

Freak woman, "I can't believe you have that sign hanging when you use plastic grocery bags".

Me, "Well, at least they're doing something."

Freak woman,"But they're made of petroleum for God's sake!".

This is coming from a woman purchasing a plastic single serve 20 oz bottle of Coke who just moments before, I watched smearing on her Maybelline makeup. Really?? Maybe you ought to rethink your accessories before you make an environmental assault.

I've seen this kind of attitude so many times it's makes me steam. For goodness sake, let people do what they can. Think about the grand scheme of things, if everyone who never recycled would recycle just one can a year it would make a huge difference in our landfills. It's SOMETHING.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest. Now go hug a tree (and a hippie)!

The History of Aprons

2009-01-08T08:49:00.000-06:00

A friend of mine sent this to me in an email yesterday and it really made me smile. My grandma lived in the country on a little farm and I have wonderful memories of her and her all purpose apron. Maybe it's the memories that make me love my apron so much. I hope you enjoy it too.

The History of Aprons

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, because she only had a few, it was easier to wash aprons than dresses and they used less material, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

Pucker Up!

2009-01-07T08:12:00.004-06:00

You know those days when life sucks big honkin' smelly eggs, so much so that your face is stuck in permanent pucker mode? Well, just call me Sour-puss Sally. Luckily, my grandmother, in her infinite wisdom, taught me that when life hands you lemons, make Lemon Poppy Seed Muffins. That way if you can't say something nice, you can just pop them in your mouth and not say anything at all (although you will make noises of taste bud ecstasy).

Lemon Poppy Seed Muffins
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
1/2 cup butter, melted (I used coconut oil, becuase I'm trying to be good)
1/2 cup sugar
2 teaspoons grated lemon peel (out of lemons, so I used lemon extract, don't tell Grandma)
2 cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons poppy seeds

Mix all the wet ingredients together, then dump in the dry ingredients and mix just until moist. Spoon into muffin cups and cook at 400F for 15 mins, 10 if you're making mini-muffins (makes 12 reg muffins or 36 minis).

Lemon Glaze
1/4 cup powdered sugar
2 Tablespoons lemon juice

Stir together until smooth. Add more juice if too thick or more powdered sugar if too thin. Glaze tops of muffins and then lick the bowl clean (it's good for the soul).

Who You Calling Chicken?

2009-01-07T07:12:00.001-06:00

The other night, while eating dinner, my wondermous hubby made the comment, "Better enjoy it, because she'll never remember how to make it again", and as much as I wanted to backhand him for being Mr. Smarty Pants, he was completely right. I'm famous for cooking on the fly and just throwing this and that in the pot.

This is one of the best reasons for posting recipes on this here blog. It forces me to keep record of what I'm doing! I still toss things in here and there, but now, I keep paper and pen next to me so I can write it down. Which brings us to today's post.

One of my old classmates is currently going through chemo so I'm cooking a few meals for her and her family. Due to the flip flops that treatment does to your body, she's not exactly up for the normal "casserole of care" type items like baked ziti or chicken enchiladas. We opted for nice, calm, soothing, chicken soup and homemade wheat rolls.

I was lucky enough to find chicken quarters on sale for $2.90 for 10 lbs! So the day before I made the soup, I skinned and deboned the chicken and cooked it in the crock pot with a bit of white wine and lemon pepper. I also took the skin and bones, tossed it in a bean pot filled with water, thyme, rosemary, celery seed, onion ends, carrots, garlic and a touch of salt and let it simmer all day. Ran it through a strainer and let the broth cool in the fridge so I could remove the fat layer. I ended up with 7 lbs cooked chicken and 8 cups broth. Booooyah!

I've never made regular chicken soup before, but I will definately make it again!

Chicken Veggie Soup

4 cups chicken broth
2 cups chopped onions and celery
3 cups frozen mixed veggies
4 cups chopped cooked chicken
2 tsp McCormicks Grill Mates Roasted Garlic and Herb
1 tsp salt
pinch celery seed

Let simmer in crock pot on low for 6 hours. 30 mins before you're ready to serve, stir in a cup of white sauce (you can also use a can of undiluted cream soup)

Make a white sauce with:

2 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 cup milk

In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt butter. Add flour and stir until the butter and flour are well combined. Pour in milk, stirring constantly as it thickens.

Confession

2009-01-04T01:30:00.003-06:00

Goodness it's so nice to be back. I'm sorry for the delay in posts, but I've been stuck in quick sand and if I were to move even one finger to type, I'd surely have been swallowed whole by the angry earthly muck. Fortunately, Brendan Fraser was out and about filming "George of the Jungle, part 5-The Monkey Blog", and saw me wee little head sticking from the ground, ripped his jungle toga into strips, tied them together to form a make shift lasso and rescued me from certain death.

Or maybe, I just dropped the ball and let my bloggity responsibilities fall to the wayside without warning.

Hi, my name is Michelle and I'm a really crummy blog keeper upper with a vivid imagination and poor blog scheduling skills. You may now begin pelting me with wet noodles, although I ask that you wait until I am standing near a duck pond so that we don't waste perfectly good food and make my greenie friends angry.

Thanks, I'm sure Mother Earth thanks you too.

Speaking of Mother Earth and ticking off my greenie friends, I found really cool trash bags!!!! Yes, I suck. I'm weak and I love plastic trash bags. Actually, they are Glad ForceFlex bags with the Quick Tie feature instead of the drawstring. Seriously, I'm in love with the trash bags. I'm thinking I could make a loverly teddy trash bear so that I could curl up with the bags at night.

What makes them so amazing is that they actually stay ATTACHED to the rim of the trash can without falling inside the can. SHOCK!!! If that weren't enough, they are able to withstand that weird "bet I can stuff one more thing in this trash can without taking it out" syndrome that attacks every member of my family.

And now you know the weirdness that lurks through my mind at absurd times of the night.

I really got on here to catch everyone up on the going ons in our little corner of the Universe, but my hubby cheated and had Saturday Night Live playing on the TV while I was trying to think, and everyone who knows me will tell you that my mind goes about 10,000 miles per second in 6 million different ways and if you add just one more intsy wintsy item, it can completely derail my thought process for days (or at least until the commercial comes on). Um, did anyone else see that seriously LONG sentence that just flew by?

Now it is very, very late and I need to get to bed. Therefore, I shall have to meet with you again tomorrow. However, to help pass the time until then, I'd like to share with you a couple pics that my hubby took of Nathan and his FIANCE, Michelle, from our little Christmas get together (yes, she stole my name and the sad thing is I keep trying to call her by my sister's name).

Nate aka "Natemous Maximus"

Michelle aka "Stephanie, I mean Michelle"

Um, can you tell that Nate and Michelle are very tall people and that Dan and I are very short?

Oh and here's a shot of the Bling!

Daring Bakers- A Bûche de Noël (French Yule Log)

2008-12-28T09:40:00.000-06:00

This month's challenge is brought to us by the adventurous Hilda from Saffron and Blueberry and Marion from Il en Faut Peu Pour Etre Heureux.
They have chosen a French Yule Log by Flore from Florilege Gourmand.

This could very well be my favorite DB challenge yet! As with most DB challenges, the initial scan of the recipe seemed a wee bit daunting, and after a couple of hours of hiding in the corner shivering in the fetal position, screaming "Help me oh great spirit of Betty Crocker!", I buckled down and got to work. The recipe had six different elements that formed together to make complete culinary BLISS! If you'd like to see the complete recipe please visit Hilda here.

I chose to make my log with the following elements: Coconut Almond Dacquoise, Milk Chocolate Whipped Cream (Chantilly), Dark Chocolate Ganache, Coconut Crisp, Vanilla Almond Crème Brulée, and Dark Chocolate Icing. Yes, it was like a giant, frozen, creamy, Almond Joy candy bar and it ROCKED!

As what happens once or twice a month, my mom calls to inform me that she has a big to-do with one of her social groups (this time it was simply her church diner), and she "just doesn't know what on earth she's going to make, or when she's going to find the time to make it", yadda yadda yadda. These are the moments when my mother goes into full on guilt trip mode like only a true Jewish mother knows how to do. I'm always amazed at how effortlessly she can pull you into an all agreeable trance where you'll agree to rebuild the Eiffel Tower if need be. My boys inform me that I too have this skill, yet compared to my mom, I'm merely an amature with much to learn. Anyhoo, I decided I'd make this for her to take and it was a huge hit!

The only part that caused me grief was the icing. I'm not real sure what I did to it, but I never could get it to thicken up so, I just poured it over top like a glaze. After being in the freezer for a day it transformed into some funky jelly type shield that seemed a bit like plastic on the tongue. Deeeeelicious! Seriously, after peeling off the chocolate vinyl layer it was pure heaven that would make your tummy do a happy jig. I do plan on making this again and again until I conquer that icing. And as God as my witness, I'll never eat chocolate vinyl again!

Edited to fix date error.

A Wreath (a franklin)

2008-12-21T13:30:00.010-06:00

I know, I know, bad title joke. We just couldn't stop saying it, so I thought I'd share our silliness with you! I like to think of it as my service to society; making people everywhere feel a little better about themselves by showing how odd their family COULD be. You're welcome.

Today we made fabric wreaths. This is a great craft because it's easy, not messy and a great way to re purpose those old clothes with stains and holes. The hardest part for me was finding a wire hanger. I still have "No More Wire Hangers" echoing through my head. Note to parents, don't let your 10yr old kid watch the film! Thanks for the mental scar Mom.

What you need:
Wire hanger or pipe cleaner for wee little ones
Fabric cut into strips about 1 inch wide and 4 inches long

First shape the hanger into a circle. We untwisted ours and wrapped it half around itself to make the circle smaller and left the hook part as is so we had an easy way to hang them.

For the munchkins we shaped the pipe cleaner in a circle and used a piece of ribbon as a hanger.

Once you have your circle, simply tie the fabric strips on until the wreath is full.

Being as Danielle doesn't know how to make a knot yet, I did the looping part and then let her pull the ends to make it tight.

This goes surprisingly fast. Molly had her's done in about 15 min. You can then add a little bit of "flair" to hang in the center (ornament, candy cane, picture of the munchkins,etc).

And look, Sam didn't eat them!!!!!

Glue Ornaments

2008-12-20T08:00:00.002-06:00

This is about as thrifty and easy as you can get for ornaments! The best part is if the toddler snags one off the tree and runs to a corner to eat it for a snack, it won't put him into toxic shock!

Simply draw designs on a piece of wax paper with some glue (Sam seems to enjoy the "bouquet" of RoseArt's non-toxic washable school glue). Then cover the glue with colored sugar (you can buy it in the baking isle or make your own with granulated sugar and a touch of food color). Let them dry for 24 hours and then peel off the paper. Add a ribbon to tie it to the tree/mantel/door knocker and viola Christmas memories!

FYI: if you don't have to worry about mini eating machines, you can always use glitter or tiny beads. Also you can color the wax paper first then cut around the shape, instead of peeling it off, for a neto stained glass effect.

Real Quick Freaky Friday

2008-12-19T15:51:00.003-06:00

Here I am minding my own business, thinking I better make sure to get my Freaky Friday post ready to post TOMORROW........

Yepperino, I thought today was Thursday. Although I guess calling Saturday Friday would make it a very freaky day. So here it is the freakiest thing I've seen this week and it actually came to me in an Email. You can check out more at their website totallylookslike.com

and my favorite!!

Sorry Yzma.

Frosty The MINTman-Starring Molly!

2008-12-19T10:03:00.012-06:00

Yes it's true, that really is a TEENAGER SMILING! (she's going to kill me for this picture) The secret, my friends, is unbelievably cute snowman mints that you make yourself.

Here's what you need:

1 Tbsp softened butter (don't substitute)
1 Tbsp light corn syrup
1/8 tsp salt
1/2 tsp mint extract
1 cup powdered sugar

Mix together butter, syrup, salt, and mint, then gradually add the powdered sugar.

When it becomes too stiff to stir, knead with your hands.

Form dough into little balls to build snowmen. We added food coloring to some of the dough to make little hats and accessories for them. It turned out to be a giant pain in the arse so we turned to our handy dandy food markers and drew on buttons and just ate the rest of the colored mint dough. I do so love tasty mistakes.

After you have your little snowmen all decorated, put them in the fridge to harden.

O Christmas Tree, How Felty Are Thy Branches

2008-12-18T09:45:00.008-06:00

I'm a weeeeeee bit behind in my postings so be prepared for a landslide of Christmasy posts. Oh and a couple Hanukkah/Chanukah/ חנוכה treats too (whoot bonus holiday! See, there are advantages to having a Jewish mother). Anyhooo, as we all know we have a couple of mini-munchkins, one of which thinks all things should be put into his mouth. Like so...

Sam eating the end of the marker

Sam eating his shoe
Sam eating Puff Paint (I'll blog that later)

So we always have the challenge of finding crafts that won't kill off the toddler if (more likely WHEN) he tries to eat the project. Fortunately, I ran across a great post at That Artist Woman's blog for Felt Christmas trees. I loved this project because you get to turn scraps and trash into something beautiful and my son can't die from it! It only took about 10 mins to prep everything. Please see her blog for detailed instructions (including a loverly template). We had major camera malfunction so there's no step by step to show here. But, here's the basics of it.

All you need is an empty toilet paper roll, some felt, glue and beads (we also used cupcake sprinkles). You cut the toilet paper roll so the end comes to a point and glue them together. Then cut varying sized circles out of the felt. We used 2 different greens and some white for snow. Next cut an "X" in the center of each felt circle and slide them over the TP roll. Then glue beads on as ornaments. As I stated we also placed a line of glue on the "branches" and sprinkled cupcake sprinkles over it, much easier for little hands. Only thing that's left is to add an Angel!

What, you didn't know that angels had invisible heads? Oh yes, it's a new plan used to ensure that they stay humble. If you can't recognize their faces then you can't keep track of who's been on Oprah more often. Brilliant, don't you think?

Wakey Wakey Eggs N Bakey

2008-12-15T08:26:00.001-06:00

It's one of those loverly mornings where the wind chill drops the otherwise "toasty" temperature of 16F down to 2F and I ask myself why the heck I still live in this abyss known as Oklahoma (there's a reason they had to GIVE the land away people!). Anyhoo, I feel like icky pewy yuck and start my morning with a tall glass of Orange Zest Alka-Seltzer Plus Cold medicine. My body is just not in the mood to stand over a pan and cook eggs so I threw this baby together and surprisingly it tasted pretty darn good, so I thought I'd share. Please keep in mind that these measurements are my best guesstimation, because I just grabbed and tossed things while doing my best to keep Sam out of the sink, trash can, junk drawer, his sister's shoes, etc.

1/2 can crescent rolls
6 eggs
6 pieces cooked bacon
1/2 cup green peppers
2 tsp pepper
4 slices cheese

First zap 6 pieces of bacon in the microwave for about 5 mins (until cooked).
grease/spray 8x8 square dish.
unroll half of crescent roll package and place on the bottom of pan (save other half for pigs in a blanket for lunch, hee hee).
In bowl, mix eggs, green peppers, and crumbled bacon.
Pour over crescent rolls, sprinkle with pepper and cook at 425 for about 30 mins.
Remove from oven and top with cheese.

Sorry for the lack of pictures, just imagine a really yummy square omelet topped with bright orange cheese squares!

Freaky Friday-I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

2008-12-12T04:00:00.003-06:00

Last night the hubby was doing a little internet crawling and ran across someone's post where they listed odd things people searched to get to their blog (sorry, I don't remember whose blog). Of course, me wee little brain couldn't let this go and I woke up today aching to know how people got to me. I pulled up my stats at BlogPatrol and got quite the hoot from what I found. If you don't have a stat service already, go now and get one. If for this reason alone, it's soooo worth it! Here's my favorites of the misled who stumbled upon our little world:

How to wear a straitjacket by myself?
Girlfriend in a straitjacket for me
Straitjacket burrito
Dog straitjacket
Women dressed as a cow
Gobble gobble turkey apron for toddlers
Lesbians with flour pic

Now doesn't that make all your weirdness seem just a slight bit more normal?

Here for your enjoyment is the most bizzare version I've heard of U2's Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.....

This one is very cool with just a tiny touch of freakiness. I think it's simply the fact that MONKS are singing pop songs that's odd, still cool just a slight freaky aftertaste.

Operation Baking Gals-Captain Marcus Hampton

2008-12-11T03:50:00.001-06:00

Round 5 of Operation Baking Gals is upon us just in time for Christmas! For those of you who've missed this in the past, Operation Baking Gals is a group of bakers who get together once a month and send care packages to our awesome men and women in the Armed Forces. It's great fun and I encourage everyone to get involved. Clink the linky link for more information.... LINKY LINK.

This round I joined the SugarBakerz team so that I could bake for Captain Marcus Hampton of the US Air Force, who is currently stationed in Qatar. I was told that he likes Red Velvet Cake and is quite partial to coffee. I really had no idea just how to get a full cake shipped to him properly and the thought of chopping it up into little bits to ship in sections just seemed wrong. So, very, very wrong. Anyhoo, after doing a little internet searching I ran across Red Velvet Cake Balls at Bakerella's bloggity blog. Really how did we ever do anything without the internet? Oh yeah, we read books. Never mind.

Have a gander at them. I decided to make them a little lumpy and imperfect to ensure they had that homemade feel. Yeah, that's it, just like I do with my gravy. Lumpy=Love!

I also made up some Coffee Brownie Bites which really are to die for!

Coffee Brownie Bites
1/2 cup butter, melted
1 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
2 Tablespoons instant coffee
1/3 cup powdered sugar (for topping)

Mix together butter, sugar eggs and vanilla. Beat in remaining ingredients until combined(except for powdered sugar).
Bake in mini muffin cups for 10 mins at 350F.
Once cooled dust with powdered sugar.

Of course what would a care package be without some Oatmeal Raisin cookies and Christmas colored M&M cookies? We then topped things off with some candy canes and my grandma's traditional Life Saver Christmas Sweet Story Book.

Again, I urge everyone to get involved in sharing some love with our troops.

If you happen to read this Captian Hampton, my family thanks you for everything you're doing to make the world a better place to be. Merry Christmas!

Italian Chicken Casserole

2008-12-10T14:10:00.001-06:00

This was inspired from a recipe I found at Suite101.com. It sounded pretty good, except for the thought of cooking chicken in the spaghetti sauce. All I could think about was how runny and greasy that sauce would be. GAG-O-RAMA! So here's what I did instead:

This made enough for 2 dinners and base for soup, so you may want to cut it in half

6-7 russet potatoes about the size of your palm (well, my palm, because you weren't here to measure).
1 large yellow onion
2 tsp black pepper
1 Tbsp bullion
3 lbs boneless skinless chicken breast
1 cup of water
1/4 cup white wine
1 Tbsp McCormick Roasted Garlic & Herb seasoning
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1 jar (28 oz) spaghetti sauce
2 cups shredded mozzarella
1 cup shredded parmesan

Chop potatoes into 1 inch cubes, slice onions and toss both in bottom of crock pot.
sprinkle with black pepper and bullion
Slice chicken into strips and put on top of onions.
Add water, wine and garlic seasoning, then top with chopped red peppers.
Cook on low for 8 hours

Remove chicken to separate plate and spoon potatoes and onions with slotted spoon to put in the bottom of casserole dish. Top with 1/2 of spaghetti sauce and 1/2 of mozzarella. Add chicken & peppers and cover with remaining sauce and cheese. Let it sit for about 10 mins to melt the cheese before serving. Pour the broth and potato/onion/chicken/pepper remnants from crock pot into a bowl to cool in fridge. Once cooled, throw away fat layer and freeze as base for soup.

I really wasn't sure how this would turn out, but the family loved it. In fact, Molly had 3 helpings! We did all agree that it definitely needs some garlic bread to go with it though.

Let me see that Jelly Roll!

2008-12-09T01:00:00.001-06:00

"To the left, to the left, to the right, to the right.
To the front, to the front, to the back, to the back.
Now dip baby dip, come on let's dip baby dip,
Cotton Candy sweet and low let me see that JELLY ROLL!"

Okay, okay, so it's Tootsie Roll, not Jelly Roll. It still made you do a little chair dance didn't it? I just couldn't help myself though. You see, I made a loverly little snacky poo that was just so gosh darn good that it deserved an intro song. I found this recipe while floating through the Blogosphere one day....in the merry merry month of May...... UGH, sorry, it's so distracting being me. Let's see, where was I? Oh yes, KIM and CO. I spent forever reading through her blog. It will make you laugh; it will make you cry; it will make you hungry; it may even make you want to have "Sparkle Babies". (to those of you who get that last joke, remember she warned you first, lol).

Here's the recipe straight off her blog. I'm not real sure if mine came out looking like they're supposed to, so I just closed my eyes while I scarfed them down.

JEWISH JELLY ROLLS
Prepare dough ahead - refrigerate overnight or until cool

Mix with mixer
2 sticks of butter
2 C. flour
1 sm. carton sour cream

Wow that was hard eh? Nite nite Miss Dough

*Separate into 4 balls, flatten to med. thin. (When you roll the dough, you want the dough to be longer than it is wide.) -Alrighty Kim, I think this bit of measurement was inserted just to drive my OCD side nuts. Just how thick is medium thin??
*Spread with strawberry jam, sprinkle with cinnamon, sugar and nut pieces (I use pecans).
*Roll up (you want to roll it so it remains long) and fold in ends, place seams on bottom of sprayed cookie sheet.
*Bake @ 350 degrees for approx. 40 min.
*When hot sprinkle with powdered sugar.
*Cool and cut into pieces.

I must admit I LOVED playing with this dough, which probably means that my end measurement of "medium thin" is more appropriate for paper not jelly rolls. Again, may not look right, but tasted amazing!

Thanks once again Kim!

Channeling Gary Busey

2008-12-08T14:53:00.006-06:00

You know those days when your normally sweet, loving, little one decides that everything in life sucks completely and his sole purpose is making you wish you were in a coma? Great, then you know how my day has been.

I'm not real sure when exactly it happend, but sometime between when I put Sam to bed last night and when I got him out of bed this morning, the spirit of Gary Busey had possesed my child. Now, I'm not talking the happy "Buddy Holly" Gary, I'm talking cocaine rehab, angry Gary. After about 1 1/2 hours of Baby Sam throwing himself about the house and screaming in a pitch so high that every dog on the block was plotting revenge on our family, I finally got him to at least sit still on my lap and let me attempt to console him. Thankfully, once Khris pulled out the camera so we could capture a few shots of our little baby Busey to share with you, Sam decided life would be okay and that Mommy isn't the horrible wench he thought I was.

Here take a look for yourself:

He's still cute as a bug. Sam that is, Gary not so much.

Slow Cooker Candied Spice Pecans

2008-12-05T10:52:00.002-06:00

I first had candied spice pecans at a concert at Red Rocks in Colorado about 9 years ago. The cutest little hippy girl was selling them in paper cones, which held about 1/2 cup of nuts, for $7. I'm pretty sure she was either a marketing major or the devil in disguise, because those things were YUMMMMMMMMMY and she sucked huge amounts of money from me.

Since that day, I've tried making them myself, because, as my BFF has informed me, I have DIY issues and believe if I can buy it, I can make it. Anyhoo, everytime I've tried making them, I've burnt the jeepers out of them and unfortunately, I still haven't gained a love for eating charcoal. The oven can be such a vicious sweets hating monster. But wait! Up on the counter... it's a foundue pot.... it's a giant potpurri warmer...NO, It's SUPER SLOW COOKER!

Ahhh, my time forgiving, go read a book while I cook, friend. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...... (while I'm busy counting the ways, go give these a try)

Slow Cooker Candied Spice Pecans
4 cups pecans
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup butter
2 teaspoons cinnamon (plus a smidge or two for sprinkling)

Toss it all in the slow cooker for 30 min to let the butter melt(be sure to taste one, because they rock). Stir and cook on low for 2 hours(be sure to taste another one, because they rock). After the pecans have had their swim in gooey sweet goodness, spread them out on some parchment paper, give a light sprinkling of cinnamon and let them cool(be sure to taste yet another one, because they rock). After they've cooled, Proceed with devouring these addictive little gems.

Look how stinking cute they are all wrapped up and ready to give to Helen the Plumbing Diva from Home Depot who made the installation of my dishwasher possible.

Be Frugal or Burn in HELL!!!

2008-12-01T12:59:00.005-06:00

Ok, so maybe it's not quite that bad, but I did have frugalism burned into my brain by Pastor John Hagee. Even though he says his church is a non-denominational evangelical church, he can preach some fire and brimstone like a Baptist preacher at a Wiccan convention, so you may want to wear a helmet to avoid head dents from bible thumping. Anyhoo, I saw one of his "keeper of the home" sermons and the point he made was that being careless with your money is the same as saying your life is insignificant. For example, let's say every night I over cook and end up throwing out $1.00 worth of leftovers. It may not seem like much, but let's say that my husband makes $10 an hour (hey, I like easy math, lol), after a year, I have thrown out $365 or 36 hours of his life.

Take a moment and let it sink in, I'll wait......

$1 per day in trash=1 work week wasted
1 week that could've been spent, lying on the beach
enough money for movie tickets for you and 34 of your best friends
a super sweet new pair of shoes
a Wii

Just think, all this could be yours if you'd just eat your leftovers.

So, let's say you're one of those people (like me) who enjoy a cup O' flavorishous java in the mornings and let's say that every morning on the way to work you stop and buy yourself an ex-large iced mocha latte with 2 shots of raspberry (not that I did that every morning for 2 high strung years). Now let's say that each cup of caffeine love cost $4 (yes, I'm pricing low, because "I can't handle the truth"). So $4 per day, 22 days a month, 12 months a year comes to a whopping.... hold on tight, this is ugly...

$1056.

Hurts, doesn't it? If you make it at home the cost is $.72 per day for the big as my head jumbo sized cup, or about $190 per year and a savings of $866. Which, btw, is enough to pay for a plane ticket from Los Angeles, CA to Abu Dhabi.

Please understand that being Frugal is not the same as being Cheap. Frugal is making wise choices with your money. Cheap is putting so much importance on money that you can't let any of it leave your hands. Let me share a few examples of the difference:

Frugal: making coffee at home. (click here for a few recipes)

Cheap: adding dirt to water to make it brown and trying to pass it off as coffee.

Frugal: wearing a sweatshirt and socks around the house and turning the thermostat down a notch.

Cheap: cutting down your neighbor's tree to use as kindling for a bonfire in your living room so you don't have to use the heater at all.

Frugal: mixing washing soda with your automatic dish soap to give it a boost and save some money.

Cheap: having the dogs lick the dishes "clean".

Frugal: taking turns carpooling with a friend to work or trips to the store.

Cheap: roof surfing the city bus "Teen Wolf" style to get around paying for a bus pass.

Frugal: making your own bath salts (click me for how tos)

Cheap: scrubbing up with spit and a washcloth.

Frugal: adding shredded veggies to ground beef to stretch the meal.

Cheap: adding shredded carboard found behind the grocery store to ground beef to stretch the meal.

Now that we all have a better grasp of frugalism, I challenge you all to find one simple way to save some money!

I'll Snap You Like A Twig

2008-11-30T13:12:00.000-06:00

Ok, I feel better now. Sorry Minnie, thanks for letting me get it out.

Cinnamon Roll Tweaker

2008-11-29T11:30:00.013-06:00

The other day I was doing some reading on baking and ran across a discussion on subbing cottage cheese for milk in bread recipes. Being as I'm all about sneaking in yummy goodness wherever I can, I knew I had to give this a go. So join me now as we do a little cinnamon roll tweaking. Don't be scared of the words cottage cheese, take a deep breath and tell yourself, "protein is my friend". You can do this! I'll be right here for support, we'll get through it together!

Here's what you need:
DOUGH:
1/4 cup warm water
1 Tbsp dry yeast
3 cups flour (I use half wheat/half white, you can use all of one or the other)
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup cottage cheese
1/4 cup butter
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
FILLING/TOPPING:
1/2 cup melted butter
1 cup brown sugar
3 Tbsp cinnamon
3/4 cup chopped pecans (or chopped apples, or raisins, or whatever makes you happy)

*If you look close enough at the recycled piece of junk mail that I used to write my instructions (which I forgot to move before taking the picture) you'll also see my recipe for Lime Chicken marinade and Chocolate Scootcheroos. Sweet bonus eh?*

Ok, back to the rolls. First, proof the yeast by mixing it into the warm water and let it sit until it's bubbly (about 5 mins).

Meanwhile, mix the flours, 1/4 cup sugar, and salt together. Then cut the cottage cheese (hee hee cut the cheese, sheesh I'm a child) and butter into the flour until it forms loverly little clumps. Like so:

Now mix the egg and vanilla into the yeast water, then stir it into the flour mixture until absorbed. Turn the dough out onto a well floured surface. It will be crazy sticky, so you'll want to turn it a few times in the flour so it'll be easier to handle.
After giving it a flour coat, roll/smoosh it out into a 12x24 inch rectangle. Being as my rolling mat was attacked by rust from a freak leaky dishwasher accident and had to be thrown out, I had to cut the dough in half and roll it into two 12x12 squares.

Once you have the dough rolled, mix the melted butter, brown sugar and cinnamon together and spread evenly over the dough (I reserved a couple Tbsp of the mixture to drizzle over the top after it's done). Then top with the pecans, apple, raisin, whatever option.

Roll up the dough and cut into 1 inch pieces. Feel free to cut them larger and have fewer taller rolls. Let the power of the doughy goodness speak to your soul and led you towards how big of pieces it wants to be. Yeah man, let it be man.

Place the pieces into a greased pan (I use 2 round 8inch cake pans) and let them rise in a warm place until doubled in size, about 45-60 mins. You want to make sure not to crowd the rolls or the middles will get all cranky from being crowded and will pop up all funky wonky when you cook them. While we're waiting for them to rise, let me show you our solution to the "where's the silverware go?" problem:
Ta Dahhhhh. Cute eh? Just ignore the flour spillage. Baking is a powerful thing and you can't let yourself be confinded by flour tidiness. Sounds good anyway, doesn't it? Oh and while you're ignoring things, if you could just ignore the fact that there's only two clean forks and butter knives and not mention that I need to wash dishes. Thanks, you're cool like that!

Oh look, the rolls have risen and there was much rejoicing!

Now we pop them in a preheated oven at 350 degrees F for 20-25 minutes, until light golden brown. Aren't they pretty and all cozy like?
After you take them out of the oven drizzle the remaining filling mixture over top and chow down!

And now for some food porn, bomp chicka bow wow:

yeah baby

that's it, own it

Whoooooa mamma

work it

I believe in miracles. Where you from? You sexy thing

Freaky Friday

2008-11-28T01:47:00.005-06:00

A while back, my hubby said we should take all the weirdness we find online and slap it into a "Freaky Friday" post. Being as I ALWAYS do exactly as my husband says, here it is!

------
"Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco."-Will Rogers
----

Really, who thought this was a good idea for a portrait? I think it's the hand on the arse that gives it that certain Je ne sais quoi.

Gobble Gobble Gobble

2008-11-27T08:40:00.004-06:00

Happy Turkey Day! Here's a few things for which I'm thankful:

My 5 munchkins
The fact that I like my in-laws
32 sun loving windows
That my dad is an amazing man who has always taught by example
Danielle using her potty chair
Canned cranberry sauce served on a $100 crystal relish dish
Veggie trays with ranch dressing
No slip skiddies on the bottom of socks
Indoor plumbing
My bloggity blog and all my bloggity friends
My smokin' hot hubby who still thinks I'm as pretty as I was 22 years ago.

Hope you all have a wonderful day!

Coffee Anyone?

2008-11-22T22:04:00.002-06:00

Phew, that really made me laugh!

Olfactory Inspiration

2008-11-22T11:49:00.003-06:00

What do you get when you combine a smoker's chest of drawers, two hole filled socks, and the last remaining lavender herb bag from your hippy days?

Lavender Sachets!

One of the fun things about moving is that unpacking is a bit like Christmas. It's amazing the things you never knew you owned until you unpack them from a moving box. I was lucky enough to uncover a stash of holey socks and the aforementioned bag O lavender, with which I was amazed of the power of Zip-lock! I opened the bag and instantly the fragrance carried me away to a loverly meadow filled with butterflies, fairies, white unicorns, chocolate waterfalls, and Jonny Depp dressed in his best grunge undershirt giving me a piano serenade ......
What you can see him too? Told you that stuff was potent!

Anyhoo, my BIL gave us a wonderful chest of drawers that unfortunately had absorbed a bit of Essence du Cigarette no5 (I quit smoking earlier this year so I'm now one of those OBNOXIOUS people who can smell cigarette smoke from 50 yards out). We cut the socks into 4 inch-ish squares (remember they stretch), piled lavender in the middle, pulled up the sides, gave it a twist to form a ball with the herbally goodness, and wrapped gumbands around them so they looked like fresh little ghosties. Just toss them in your dresser drawers and you'll have the best smelling undies on the block!

Vampire Sparkles and Dream Killers

2008-11-19T09:56:00.006-06:00

Unless you live in a cave (like me), you've heard of the Twilight Vampire series. I've not had the joy of being enveloped by the chronicles of Bella, however, my BFF Ginger and my bonus daughter, Miss Molly, have both been swept away by visions of neck bitters.

Yesterday while out running errands, I happen to catch a glib on the radio about Twilight movie premiere tickets and the Cricket phone store. Being as Miss Molly is in LOVE with the series I knew I must find a way to get those tickets (Queue the mission impossible music). As I’m approaching the store, I am suddenly overcome with the stench that can only mean it’s a good thing I put a diaper on Danielle. Now I really had to think this one over, do I head home and change Danielle and risk missing out on the tickets for Molly or do I just hold my breath and pray everyone around me has sinus issues and can’t smell anything. Go ahead and give me your best "Bad Mom Scoff" and then get over it and realize that we’re talking about a teenage girl’s current life passion. I slapped the mom-mobile into park and into the store we ran. Once there I find out that it’s a must be present drawing and I had 30 mins before they drew the winner. SWEEEET! I put in my entry and zoomed home to drop off my little stinker and all the bags of groceries that I had forgotten about after getting wrapped up in my quest to make a teenager smile.

Using my best pizza delivery boy on crack driving skills, I made it back to the store with time to spare. Unfortunately, that time to spare seemed to stand still while we waited for the drawing. I was surrounded by vampire obsessed people immersed in validating why one should be Team Edward or Team Jacob. Driven by the fear of being eaten alive by "Fanpires" if any of them smelled the scent of a non-reading outsider, I mustered up all the knowledge I've gathered from listening to Miss G and Miss Molly talk about the series and muddled my way through the conversation. As we chatted, I started surmising the competition and wondered what I was doing there when back home there was dinner that wouldn't prepare itself. Then, I was taken back to memories of waiting in line for 45 mins so the boys could have their picture taken with Jason the Red Power Ranger, or having every member of my family on a nationwide quest for Optimus Prime and the game Lucky Ducks , or camping out at the toy store at 4am on Black Friday to get Razor scooters for the boys and an Easy Bake Oven for Miss Molly. All those times of tired legs, impatient people, empty store shelves, and elbows to the head exchanged for the look of joy on my munchkins’ faces. Oh how I love that look on their faces and THAT was why I was there.

Feeling re-energized, I figured peanut butter and jelly sandwiches would be fine for dinner and I was pretty sure I could take down every person there and make like a bandit with those tickets. Fortunately for my unsuspecting prey, time was up and I was one of the lucky ones who got tickets. Unfortunately, thanks to the evils of overbooking, when we got to the theatre all the seats were taken and I went from Step-Mom of the Year to the Evil Dream Crushing Step-Monster in two seconds flat. Damn you wicked movie theater PR minions!!!!

With A Banjo On My Knee

2008-11-17T16:43:00.001-06:00

As stated here, Khris and his guitar have been making many appearances in the living room. Being as the mini-munchkins think everything their big brothers and sister do is the coolest thing EVER, I decided it was time to make a mini-munchkin guitar upon which they can pluck to their hearts desire, without the threat of elder siblings lobbing off fingers.

I'm sure you all remember making these when you were little, but in case you need a refresher, here's what you do:

First you need a box (about the size of a shoe box), enough construction paper to cover the box(we used 2 pieces), glue, crayons or whatever instrument with which you wish to decorate, rubber bands (to use as strings), and eager munchkins.

I was lucky enough to find all these things waiting for me at the dinning table. FYI: I've found the children to be more artistic if one of them is very slobbery and the other has wild crazy hair.

Now cut a hole out of one piece of paper and use it as a template to mark the hole on your box.

Then just cut it out. No, those are not my kitchen scissors that I'm using because I can't figure out where we packed the paper scissors. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Owoooo a hole! Very cool and artistic-ish.

Time to let the wee artists go crazy! Please note that Sam has decided he's too big for the fat round crayons and is ready to step up to big kid crayons.

If you look closely, you'll notice on his chin the blue crayon crumb evidence proving that, although his taste buds say otherwise, he is NOT ready for big kid crayons.

Remember crayon joy? It looks like this:

Now glue your paper to your "guitar box"

Fold the corners in like you're wrapping a present. If you are a gift bag baby who doesn't know how to fold wrapping paper, just take your paper and box to your local Macy's and for $5 they'll do it for you (and make fun of you all though the holidays).

After giving it a few minutes to dry a bit, stretch your rubber bands around the box to make the "guitar strings". Everyone wave to my mommy who came over just in time to bust me standing on my dinning room chair for that sweet aerial shot 3 pics back. HI MOM!

Musical bliss! She's almost perfected "Stairway to Heaven" too.

Looks like Khris may be ready to trade in his Fender.

Sing a Song of Sixpense

2008-11-14T00:21:00.003-06:00

Ok, seriously, this has been an exhausting ~~week~~, ~~month~~, year. I'm thinking we need to just "skip a bit brother" and move on into 2009.

OH my! The medicine I took for my back, after I got home this evening, just hit me like a freight train and I'm pretty sure my eye lids are now on a count down to total shutdown so let's just get to the nitty gritty thought for the day and we'll talk more later when I can keep my eyes open.

Everyone should start singing in the shower. Doesn't matter what song it is, just sing and do it real loud. Come on, what is your family going to say? If you play your cards right, they may just think you've flipped your lid and give you a minor vacation to your friendy neighborhood psych ward. Wooo hoo! Really, sing people! If you don't know the words, make up your own. They don't even have to rhyme, after all it's your shower singing song in your bathroom and you can do whatever you want with it.

Take the callenge and change your life FOREVER....FOREVER.....FOREVER! (my bad, minor Sandlot flash there).

Night night alll. Talk soon!

Cancer Sucks

2008-11-10T12:25:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the lack of proper structure, I just need to get it out.

Today was my former mother-in-law’s birthday. She was the most caring woman I’d ever met. She’d led quite a tough life, yet somehow managed to make it through all the mess without becoming hard. I never heard her try to pull the victim card even though the world offered her many reasons to do so. She had one of those smiles that could bring instant calm to a room and she always put other's needs before her own. Which is basically why we lost her. She died from breast cancer. After she died we found her journals and in them there was an entry where she had found a lump. They lived paycheck to paycheck and didn’t have health insurance, so she was faced with a choice of buying food and clothes for her kids or pay for a doctor’s visit. So years passed and by the time she got help it was very advanced. She was only able to do the bare minimum. She went through nasty rounds of chemo that left her sick, in pain, and exhausted, yet she still did her best to have a smile on her face. There was no money for reconstruction, counseling, or even the meds that help with the post chemo side effects. Cancer sucks and I hate it. I hate that we live in a world where someone as loving and amazing as she was has to make the choice to feed her family or fight cancer. I miss her so much and I want her back.

Happy Birthday Mom, I miss you.

There's Something In The Water

2008-11-07T15:04:00.003-06:00

Seriously, what the heck is wrong with the water in OKC? I haven't lived in OKC since the mid-nineties and had forgotten how unbelievably nasty the water tastes here. I've heard rumors that they actually filter this so called water and if that's the case then they must add a wee touch of "Essence of Fish Gill" before sending it on its way to our homes. Unfortunately, it's been too long since my Air Force days and I don't remember how to make a water filter with my shoestring and the leg of my BDUs so I'm going to have to turn to Brita to save my family from what must be a government plot to slowly turn us all into Sea Monkeys.

You Need a Laugh

2008-11-06T11:44:00.002-06:00

Khris actually found this one the other night while practicing his Geeee-Tar. I promise it's not what you think, so don't bail out before he starts singing.

This one is just for my Boo-boo, who actually saw these guys in concert. Meanwhile I was busy seeing Rick Springfield in concert. Twice. I know, I know, I have no excuse, it's just sad. Wow, I feel better letting that nasty little secret out. Anyhoo, back to the video for my way cooler than me hubby.

We Did It

2008-11-05T03:16:00.005-06:00

Well folks, we did it! We have made history! Yippy, go America!
Yeah, I know, we made it pretty easy on ourselves being as either way the vote went we would've had a "First" something or other. Nonetheless, we should pat ourselves on the back (being as that's what we do best) for having such an awesome turnout. Even my bff went out and voted, which pretty much means it's snowing in Hell right about now.

BTW, I finally found my camera and will be going on a photo spree later. You've been warned so buckle up and hang on tight.

In case you need a slight cyber road trip while you're waiting, go check out this guys post about the proper way to take care of a baby, it's HILLLLLARIOUS!!!
http://chihaw.blogspot.com/2008/10/baby-care-instructions.html

VOTE!

2008-11-04T09:55:00.004-06:00

VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE! VOTE!

FYI: If you take your "I voted" sticker to Chick-fil-a, they'll give you 3 chicken strips FREE! How cool is it that you can get free lunch just for giving your opinion? Man I love America!

update: my SIL informed me that Ben & Jerry's are hooking up free ice cream for voters and Starbucks will bless you with a loverly cup o'joe!

Get Your Vote On

2008-11-03T09:06:00.002-06:00

Here it is, the common folk reasons to vote for McCain.

He set his OWN arm.
Protecting freedom isn’t just a catch phrase to him. He’s actually lived the price of protecting it.
We deserve a beautiful first lady.
He’s so darn cuddly cute when he smiles.
He’s not afraid to kick some arse.
The Governator and Giuliani support him, and Bocephus even wrote a song for him.
John McCain is easy to spell and pronounce.
He loves his mamma and treats her well.
He knows that America is the “Land of Opportunity” where hard work should be rewarded not over taxed in a socialistic abyss where you “spread the wealth around”.
Did I mention that he set his own arm and can kick your arse???

So there you have it, the no nonsense reasons to vote for McCain. If you’d like to take a serious look at the real issues go to www.johnmccain.com. Just make sure you get out and vote TUESDAY NOVEMBER 4TH, which is TOMORROW.

So Then There's That

2008-10-26T00:45:00.003-05:00

When you say it's gonna happen "now",

well, when exactly do you mean?

See I've already waited too long

and all my hope is gone.

You shut your mouth,

how can you say

I go about things the wrong way?

I am human and I need to be loved,

just like everybody else does.

Don't you just hate days when you actually get what Morrisey was saying?

Yeah, me too.

Home Sweet Home

2008-10-20T08:40:00.003-05:00

Yoo hoo, over here, hidden behind the boxes! Hi there! Well, the house passed inspection and BOOM, we've moved. I've traded in the sound of the traffic zooming by our townhouse for the loverly sound of birds (and the occasional car zooming by). I am unbelievably in love with our new house. First, it's a house, complete with a YARD! Owooooooo. Second, I've gone from 2 windows total downstairs to 32 windows. That's right, there are 32 sunlight loving windows in this beautiful place, which means that I don't have to turn on a single light all day!

Now, as we all know, love can sometimes blind you to obvious flaws. Such as, there is only one telephone jack and it's in the kids' room; or the fact that the upper cabinets are too narrow to hold a cake plate; or the biggie, that there isn't one single drawer in the kitchen. Yes, you heard me right, not one drawer. Guess I'll be on the look out for an old milk carrier so I can put my silverware in it. The hubby suggested going to the restaurant outlet just down the way and getting one of those buffet type silverware sorters. Needless to say it should be fun thinking of ways to solve the "where's this go?" problem.

C is for Cookie

2008-10-15T15:52:00.004-05:00

Ohhhhh these are nummy nummy nummy. Did I mention they are nummy? This is actually a recipe from Nestle Toll House Very Best Baking. You simply must give these a go. Oy vay, are they nummy! Besides, chocolate is good for reducing stress. Let's just think of it as my way of looking out for your health. I'm here for ya!

Pudding Chip Cookies

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 pkg. (4 serving size) instant chocolate pudding mix
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 large egg
1 large egg white
2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips

PREHEAT oven to 350° F.

COMBINE flour and pudding mix in small bowl. Beat butter in large mixing bowl on medium to high speed for 30 seconds. Beat in brown sugar and baking soda until well combined. Beat in egg and egg white. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in morsels. Drop dough by rounded teaspoon 2 inches apart onto ungreased baking sheets.

BAKE for 10 to 12 minutes or until set. Cool on baking sheets 2 to 3 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool completely.

My Heart Has Been Ripped From My Chest

2008-10-14T15:53:00.000-05:00

That's my oldest son Nate and his girlfriend Michelle. Cute aren't they? Well, Sir Nate decided that he's now old enough to break his mother's heart and move far far far far far away (almost 2 miles) into a house with HER. I'm trying REAL hard to let go and keep my nose out of his "bidnez", but let's be honest, that's never been my forte.They actually balance each other out quite well and they seem to be quite smitten with each other. Deep down I know they'll be ok and I really do like her, but HE'S MY BABY BOY!!!!!! He's not old enough to move in with his girlfriend! After all, it was just yesterday that he learned how to drink out of a real cup and say "Mama".

Of course, like most moms, I'd rather they be married than just living together. But hey, he knows my views, and it's his life and his decisions and all I can do is make sure he knows that I love him anyway. Besides, the utilities are in my name so if they get too out of control I'll just have the electricity shut off. MWAAAAAAA HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAA!

Here's a cutesy pic of them in front of their house. I just love how she looks like the damsel in distress. She could actually skin a bear alive, but she's good at letting Nate be her "Hero" (I could probably learn a thing or two from her).

Gosh darn it, they're just too cute!!!

Oh and here's a pic of baby Sam after our little visit to Nate's house where he did a face plant down the steps to the back yard. It's actually healing very nicely and I don't even think there'll be a scar.
Yes, Nate, I'm keeping this picture just to torture you. If you had just stayed at home with your Mommy, then your little brother never would have fallen down the steps. Bad, bad, bad, big brother (hee hee, love you).

Army of Women

2008-10-08T01:03:00.003-05:00

One Million Women
One Research Goal
One Revolutionary Opportunity

Do something to prevent breast cancer:
http://www.armyofwomen.org/

The Army is dedicated to representing ALL women in research so that the research results will apply to ALL women. This means we need women of all ages, ethnicities, sizes, and shapes. We need women who have had breast cancer and women who have not. We need African American women, Asian women, white women, Latinas, and lesbians to be involved.

Musical Interlude

2008-10-05T23:24:00.007-05:00

Just thought I'd share the weirdness that plays at our house. It all started with Khris coming downstairs with his guitar to look up some music and the discussion began of "Owoooo this would be cool to play". Kinda scary to think we're in charge of minors eh?

I blame his father for this one:

Somehow we always end up with some Depeche. I love how this guys says Depech"A" Mode.

Just threw this one in because I LOVE this song:

I Should've Been a Ninja

2008-10-03T13:41:00.006-05:00

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to be on my Stealthy BBQ Chicken Pizza! Har har har har. Yah, I know, don't quit my day job. Anyhoooo, this is an easy, fast, tasty lunch/din-din. Everyone have their safety helmets on? Here we gooooooo!

BTW, Boo, if you're reading this, stop now and flip over to The Drudge Report or see if you can find a cool video for Depeche Mode's Tora Tora Tora. Thanks hun, it's for your own good. Love ya!

Okay, first procure some pizza dough and spread it onto a greased pizza pan or cookie sheet (pizza is cool and flexible like that). My favorite recipe can be found here. Today I totally cheated and used a can of Pillsbury pizza crust. Hey, I'm human and some days call for the Dough Boy to pitch in and do his share. Next, to satisfy your inner child, draw pretty designs on your dough with some BBQ sauce and honey then smear it all around so it's evenly distributed. I don't really measure but I'd guess about 1/3 cup BBQ sauce and 1/4 cup honey.

Now check to make sure no one is watching and sprinkle 1/4 cup wheat germ over the sauce and quickly put the jar back in the fridge before anyone sees you. If anyone asks, just say it's corn meal from the crust. Mwaaa haa haaa. Now add about 1/2 cup chopped red onion. I've learned some cool tricks to help with onion tears like: chilling your onion in the fridge before chopping; burning a candle close by; or having someone else chop them for you.

Next check again to make sure no one is looking and mince some tomatoes and just the tips off the florets of some broccoli stalks. You want them to be small enough that the broccoli looks like seasoning and the tomatoes look like bacon crumbles. Owoooooo. Quickly throw it on the pizza and cover it up with 2 slices crumbled bacon and 1 cup cooked shredded chicken. Can you even shred raw chicken? You can grind raw chicken, but can you get a shredder and truly shred raw chicken or would it just be a splattering of salmonella juice everywhere? Hmm, I'm going to have to give that a go and find out. Sorry, mental detour, sometimes the voices just win.

Where were we? Ahhh yes, cheese. Loverly, glorious cheese. Go with your gut on this one and pick a cheese that makes your toes wiggle. The hubby loves extra sharp cheddar and being as I'm sneaking in healthy goodness, I figure he deserves his hearts desire. I use about 1/4 cup mozzarella and 1 1/2 cup extra sharp cheddar. Top with a small can (8oz) of drained pineapple chunks and a sprinkle of cilantro (to hide the broccoli, hee hee) and toss it in a preheated 400 degree oven for about 15 mins. Put on a James Bond film and bask in the glory of getting your family to eat their veggies and whole grains.

Stealthy BBQ Chicken Pizza

1 can refrigerated pizza dough (or be cool and make it yourself)
1/3 cup BBQ sauce
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup wheat germ
1/2 cup red onion
1/4 cup minced tomatoes
1/4 cup minced broccoli
2 slices crumbled bacon
1 cup shredded cooked chicken
1/4 cup mozzarella cheese
1 1/2 cups extra sharp cheddar cheese
1 8oz can pineapple chunks, drained
1 TBS dried cilantro

Heat oven to 400. Grease pan and spread dough to edges of pan. Top with all ingredients and bake for about 15 min. (when cheese is melty and crust is golden).

Thankful Thursday

2008-10-02T15:05:00.002-05:00

Ya know, I was sitting here about to duct tape the kids to the sofa so I could fix my header that my SIL pointed out was a blinding atrocity of retina burning yellow on yellow, when I realized that it was Thursday. So here's my Thankful Thursday list:

1. I am thankful for my sister in law who was smart enough to have test done that caught breast cancer in the early stages and was brave enough to fight it instead of letting it win. You Rock Joni!

2. ditto

3. ditto

4. ditto

5. ditto

6. ditto

7. ditto

8. ditto

9. ditto

10. I'm still thankful for Chad Lowe (pbbbblllsst Hillary Skank, I mean Swank).

Purple Haze

2008-10-02T14:53:00.001-05:00

Isn't that the coolest color EVER?! Miss Molly and I had a hankerin' for some smoothies the other night. First we mixed some blackberries with yogurt and milk, which I thought was nummy, but Miss Molly said all she could taste was yogurt. Luckily, we had some loverly Bryer's Very Cherry Chip ice cream and a scoop later we had Purple Haze perfection. Normally, I'd sneak in a cup of fresh spinach leaves, however I figured any green flecks would look a bit suspicious in something called "Purple Haze". Still, I'm pretty sure Hendrix was jonesin' for a sip.

Purple Haze Smoothie
makes 4 "normal" servings or 2 big honkin' servings

2 cups frozen blackberries
1/2 cup vanilla yogurt
1 cup milk
1 scoop (1/2 cup-ish) Bryers Very Cherry Chip ice cream

Mix in blender until smooth and purplisious.
Best served to a group of recovering hippies while watching Dark Side of the Rainbow.

Daring Bakers September Challenge: Lavash Crackers

2008-10-01T15:27:00.015-05:00

Good day cyber friends and lurkers! You all remember how we discussed me needing a few extra brain cells, more than likely due to the fact that being a youngest child myself, I suffer from "test dummy syndrome" as explained here? Well, I had a code blue massive brain fart and forgot all about my September Daring Bakers Challenge until yesterday, 3 days AFTER the deadline. Whooo hooo, I rock!

This month's challenge was Lavash crackers hosted by Natalie of Gluten A Go Go and Shel of Musings From The Fishbowl. This challenge made my toes wiggle because some of the old hens in my former homeschool group always talked about how they made their own crackers (actually, they made EVERYTHING themselves off their homesteads. big showoffs, hee hee) and I wanted to be one of the "kewl" kids too. We had our choice of spices/toppings so long as our crackers were vegan, we also had the choice to go gluten free. This was my original plan, but being as the aforementioned brain fart removed all recollection of deadlines, I had to just use what I had on hand, which was whole wheat. The sauce was a free-for-all of whatever your heart desired so long as it was vegan and gluten free.

First I had to gather all my ingredients and get them to the table so I could sit and cook (anyone remember that "Sit and Be Fit" exercise show?). Well here's my pure genius answer to transporting those goods:
I'm thinking a basket, horn, and some tassels will make this baby ROCK!

My temporary baking high was immediately shot down when I opened my rolling mat to find this:

Friends, we are gathered here today to say goodbye to our beloved Tupperware Pastry Sheet. It was a good pastry sheet and its sixteen years of service will not be forgotten. Let us have a moment of silence to reflect upon its great starchy victories. *tear

After the memorial service I carried on with my cracker making fun. I've said before how I LOVE to make kneaded bread type goodies. There is just something therapeutic about it. See even Mr. Happy Kneaded Dough is smiling!

Oh look Khris came home just in time to witness his mom playing with bread dough. Doesn't he look proud? BTW, there's those honking after work drinks he brings me.

Wanna know what's funny about making Lavash at midnight? You find yourself entranced by the grainy planes of whole wheat numminess. Looooook deep into it...Feel it's power......Ohmmmmmmm.

I made two batches, one just for me with crushed pecans sprinkled on top (inspired by John of Eat4Fun) and another with cinnamon sugar. The first batch (with pecans) turned a bit too brown. The second batch I turned the heat down to 325 and it worked smashingly. As for my dipping sauce I blended 2 cups defrosted frozen mixed fruit, 4 pepperoncini, and 1/2 tsp cinnamon until smooth in my new blender that my boys got me for my birthday, .

Whoaaaa momma was it tasty! I love the yen and yang of spicy and sweet. I will absolutely make this again and I'm thinking of making it thicker to have a pita type bread. Forgive the bad pic, it was 2:00am and I decided that everything should be shades of BROWN!

For the recipe please check out our hostesses' sites: Gluten A Go Go and Musings From The Fishbowl. Also be sure to check out the other Daring Bakers and drool over their hard work.

Brought to you by the letter R

2008-09-30T15:17:00.000-05:00

As stated before our house has been the house of physical funk and I've gotten to the point that I look a bit like the Hunchback of Notre Dame (say it with me; No-trah Dahhhhm, not Noter Daim. Well done boys and girls.). On a good point, if someone drops a thousand dollar bill on the ground, by gummy, I'll see it!!! So, since things have been a bit glum, I thought I'd make a lunch post to remind myself that things can still be nummy, fun, and good for you, even while doing your best impersonation of the letter "r".

Today we have peanut butter, wheat germ, and honey roll-ups on whole wheat tortillas, (personalized with my sweeeet food markers), mozzarella cubes, and frozen mixed fruit. Thank you in advance for not talking about the loverly window glare in the lower corner of the pic, what do you expect from a consonant?

My favorite part of this lunch was Miss Danielle "reading" the roll-ups and saying, "S-A-M spells Sam. D-A-N-I-E-L-L-E spells ME!". Man I love that little girl!

She's ALIVE!

2008-09-25T10:25:00.003-05:00

Sorry that I've been such a lazy girl and haven't said anything in a while. I promise that it's nothing you did or didn't do. {Cyber hugs} Things have been a bit crazy and I've been just a weeeeee bit stressed out. You know when you're so overwhelmed that you feel as if your eyes are going to pop out of your head and roll down the street? Well, that's been me and I really like my eyes so I thought it best to just duct tape them closed so they'd stay put. So far, so good! :) With all this craziness, I thought it wise to take a moment to refocus and follow my SIL's lead with Thankful Thursday (at least I think it's Thursday).

1. I am thankful for my hubby who understands that marriage is not always roses and chocolate. Most of the time it's morning breath, toenail clippings, mood swings, body aches, and real problems that require a till death do we part, no matter what, never give up attitude.

2. I am thankful for Chad Lowe. I figure since Hillary Swank forgot to thank him, someone should stand up and give him props. Whooo hooo Chad! I couldn't have done it without you.

3. I am thankful for Khris and Nate giving me their left over tea/soda when they get off work.

4. I am thankful that I am now going to get to see Miss Molly everyday.

5. I am thankful for the pharmacist that supplied the drugs that I took last night that gave me a full night's rest.

6. I am thankful that the inspection for our house is tomorrow and I'll know if I need to start packing.

7. I am thankful that this morning I was able to stand long enough to actually make muffins with Miss Danielle.

8. I am thankful that the leaky faucet in the bathroom was fixed today.

9. I am thankful for my in-laws who are willing to watch our three little kitties while we move.

10. I am thankful that there's always a tomorrow to try again.

Yo HO! - what'd you call me?

2008-09-19T17:28:00.004-05:00

Ay Matey, 'tis me fourth favorite day of the year....Talk Like a Pirate Day! ARRRRRRR! Here be me brief tribute to the day.

*for those of you who just can't sleep until you know my other 3 fav days of the year:

Christmas
My Birthday
The Ides of March (no you aren't allowed to say March 15th, only ides of March. Just for funsies, you may throw in 'Et tu, Brute?' )

My Cyber Birthday!

2008-09-17T15:18:00.008-05:00

Hello again everyone. It’s true, it’s my birthday and boy has it been a doooooooosie! I woke up to find the hubby has taken himself to the hospital because he was having a hard time breathing and has been admitted so they can keep an eye on his heart. SPIRITAL BOVINE! WHAT THE HOOOOWIKIE????? He assures me that everything is fine and that he’ll be home by lunch. So that’s good news. Later the phone rings and it’s my son’s school asking about his whereabouts. Sheeeeesh! I give him a call (he’s been staying at his dad’s) and he’s sleeping. I chew him up a wall and down the other and tell him to get his bahootus to school. I then proceed to get the mini-munchkins dressed and ready to go. I took them to McDonald’s across the street from the hospital so that they could play until Boo was released. Of course when you want to just sit in silence and let the world spin around you, is the day that "Joe can’t stop talking" decides to tell you all about his adventures with the cool poker games they have online. Fortunately, I get the joyous news that Boo is released and he’s on his way and starving for lunch. This was by far the best birthday gift I could receive. So Boo, thanks for hanging in there and I hope you enjoyed that burger, because it’s time to prepare yourself for lots of heart loving fiberlicious food. TOFU ROCKS!!!

After lunch I put everyone to bed, including Boo, and decided to come see how all of you in the cyber world are doing. Wait a minute, there’s a knock on my cyber door...

Oh wow, a surprise party for me? You shouldn’t have, but I’m glad you did! By the way Tony and Chip, I‘m going to need you to put that cigarette out and put on some shirts. Thanks guys.

You need me to close my eyes? Okay. What are you all up to? Can I open them now? Ohhhh wow! Balloons, Party Hats....

and you got Paul McCartney to sing for me! You guys are the best!

Oh my goodness look at that cake! It's beautiful! Oh no, looks like the decorator forgot one of the l's in Michelle. Maybe we should send it on to Cake Wrecks

Wheeee, gift time!

What's this? A yellow Kitchen-Aid stand mixer!

Goodness an Apple Green Hamilton Beach Retro Blender!

Owooooo a Nokia car charger!

Great Googaly Moogaly a teal Miata!!!!!!

Wow, you guys really out did yourselves! Huh? There's one more thing?

Uhhhhh,maybe we should go back to the Miata. Seriously, you guys are great. Thanks for an amazing party! It was almost as if you guys read my mind as to what I wanted. (hee hee)

Xanax: Shaken, Not Stirred

2008-09-16T04:37:00.005-05:00

Blahhhh, it's uber late/early. I hurt. Can't sleep. Whaaaaaa. I'd poke Boo with a stick and make him hold me, but he's actually asleep which is a rarity at night these days. Oh look, it's Libby kitty. She loves me and will make it all better. Everyone should have a fuzzy wittle friend.

BTW, only one more day until my birthday. Should be an interesting one this year, because I haven't done my month long count down. I learned long ago that if you just take care of your birthday yourself, you'll never be let down. So about a month before, I tell everyone I see how many days until my birthday. On my birthday I get myself a B-day hat/pin/balloon/sticky note to wear so that everyone who sees me will know it's my birthday. I also greet everyone with "Hi! It's my birthday", I make/buy my own birthday cake and buy myself a gift. Yeah, I turn into a 4 year old on my birthday. I do so love them.

Back in the day when I was a work outside the house kinda gal I loved working on my birthday. I always told my clients to stop by for some cake while they were out and about and help me celebrate. It was like being able to have an all day party. Also, working as a hairstylist, you always got HUGE tips on your birthday (cake has that effect on people).

Not sure what's up this year. Guess it's just not feeling very well lately and the post op hubby and searching for a house and the whole having to move thing, and wondering if I'll go to jail for smacking my 18yr old son upside his head for being a....ummm...."unintelligent donkey". Oy!

Well, thanks for the shoulder. We should do this again sometime (only at a time when normal people are awake, hee hee).

I called him out! Now where's my toaster? (Now with pics!)

2008-09-13T00:32:00.009-05:00

Ok here it is. I’m going to totally out my husband. Not “out” him as in: Welcome to the wonderful flaming world of Z snaps, yoga, dance whistles, and a deeper appreciation of Barbara Streisand. That honor has already been taken by my former husband who we will only refer to as “Powder” (yeah, remember the movie? That was him, only not quite as electrifying. Hmmm issues much?). Anyhoo, back to the good husband and my outing. Once you’ve had the chance to read his blog, Dansclan6.blogspot.com. you will see that he is quite the thinking man; articulate, worldly, conversant, a Thomas Crown type with less money and a Cali/Okie accent, if you will. I told him that I found it funny when I read his blog because he sounds so different to me, he also goes into this mode when he’s on the phone. Truth is that he is a very intelligent man who starts his day with The Drudge Report and web jaunts that sprout from related articles and much like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he has another side. A side that is only shown to the privy few who can handle the beast.

You see, I have a theory. My husband was the youngest of 4 children, and I think we all know the role that is bestowed upon the youngest: the role of “test dummy”. You know those childhood ponderings such as: Are six shoelaces tied together strong enough to haul someone up to the tree house in a bucket?; Will your head explode if you mix 7-up with Pop-Rocks and drink it?; Are horse apples actually edible? Will you really see pink and blue spots if you lick a frog‘s back? What would Mom do if someone actually told her that her chicken casserole smelled like dog poo? Just like Mikey on the Life Cereal commercial, it’s the job of the youngest to do the testing for the world. Because of this bravery, devotion , and moronic trust in your older sibling(s), who would NEVER EVER steer you wrong, a few mishaps are bound to happen and coincidentally, a few brain cells are bound to be damaged and/or lost.

This leaves us with Dan’s “other” side. The silly goofy slightly skewed side that can make me laugh so hard I squawk like a pterodactyl while tears roll down my face. This side of him knows every line to Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail and both can, and WILL spew random scenes at you with little to no warning. The side of him that (before back surgery) could do an astounding rendition of Bert’s Pigeon Dance and sings The Beat Farmers’ song “Happy Boy” as if it was written solely for him. This is the side of him that makes me realize that if I was ever actually confined to a rubber room in a straitjacket, I’d want him there with me to help me pass the time by seeing who can bounce the highest off the walls. Although, if he doesn't stop playing/singing that "White Folk Gone Bad song", we may be there a LOT sooner than we thought.

So there you have it. My mild mannered, news reading, politic following, Reagan loving, hubby has a slightly skewed, truly hysterical, pigeon dancing, 80’s video loving, side that I was lucky enough to snag up before anyone could ban it for the betterment of mankind.

Here for your viewing pleasure is my hubby, Dan ..

aka"Sir Not Appearing in this Blog".

See why I love him? Oh and please note that yes, you do see a video of Devo playing in the background.

When White Folk Go Bad...

2008-09-11T11:09:00.002-05:00

There really are no words!!!! Be sure to hang around until about 1:51 and make sure not to be drinking anything that you don't want flying out your nose.

Confusion, Thy Name is English

2008-09-11T10:01:00.002-05:00

*The bandage was wound around the wound.
*The farm was used to produce produce.
*The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
*We must polish the Polish furniture.
*He could lead if he would get the lead out.
*The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
*Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
*A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
*When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
*I did not object to the object.
*The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
*There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
*They were too close to the door to close it.
*The buck does strange things when the does are present.
*A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
*To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
*The wind was too strong for us to wind the sail.
*After a number of injections my jaw got number.
*Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
*I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
*How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

*Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
*Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
*If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
*By the way, how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

*How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
*Your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
*When the stars are out, they are visible. However, when the lights are out, they are invisible.
*When I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

You like me! You REALLY like me!

2008-09-08T13:33:00.006-05:00

My Californian Soul Sister at Delicioso Mama has bestowed upon me the honour of Brilliant Weblog. Naturally, I'm now speechless, which goes to show you my amazing blogging talent, hee hee. When I read that she had given me this award, I was surprised and simply had to poke my hubby with a stick. I'm pretty sure my initial comment was something like, "Holy cow, someone enjoys my rambling!". Honestly, my husband is probably the biggest fan of my blog. Not so much because he finds my entries amazingly enthralling, but more because I'll babble on to you guys and let him sit at his computer reading his political blabbity blah while wikipediaing 80's bands in peace. Ahhh, marital bliss.

All joking aside, I really do appreciate the award and will display it proudly! Now for the rules

The rules accompanying this award are:
1. Put the logo on your blog
2. Add a link to the person who has awarded you
3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs
4. Add links to those blogs on yours and
5. Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

Here are my top 7 that inspire me to laugh, cry, create, think outside the box, and reach greater heights. Thank you for letting me peek into your world. Remember, you never know whose life you're impacting.

http://jonijenkins.blogspot.com/

http://www.jannysplace.blogspot.com/

http://dansclan6.blogspot.com/

http://lorriscancerupdates.blogspot.com/

http://handy-crafts.blogspot.com/

http://lifeofaflibbertigibbet.blogspot.com/

http://www.doughmesstic.com/

Phew

2008-09-08T10:59:00.003-05:00

The awesome news of the day is that my father-in-law is on his way home from the hospital as I type. He went into the hospital with chest pains and they found major blockage. They gave him a stint on Saturday and a temporary pace maker, then on Sunday they gave him a permanent one. I'm amazed that he gets to come home already. I remember when my grandfather went in for heart issues and was there for 2 weeks. Crazy how medicine has changed. I'm not even sure my father-in-law had time to blink after getting his pacemaker. Anyhoo, my hubby says he's doing well and is eager to get back to the comforts of home.

Can I borrow some brain cells?

2008-09-05T01:52:00.008-05:00

I'm very tired and just getting ready to shut it down and skedattle to bed and I suddenly remember a strange occurance from last night. I was having really crazy dreams last night, of which I don't remember too many details right now. I do however, remember a little of one of them and it was a happy dream at first. Then some seriously intense, older, square shaped, lady showed up wearing one of those bad blonde wigs you see advertised in the Sunday coupon section of the paper. You know, like this one.... Yeah, now you see how things started to go bad. So anyhoo, bad wig lady was freaking out and I was trying to show her out the door. She just kept saying, "You have to get the boy," over and over again. My dream is getting really intense and I have little Mrs. Sponge Bob Square Wig by the sholders and am pushing her out the door. Suddenly she turns around, grabs my arm, and won't let go. Being the instant psycho that I am when someone physically threatens me, I bit her as hard as I could on her thumb. I then shoot right out of REM, sit straight up in bed and look down at the loverly teeth marks I've left in my own finger.

Yep, I'm a smart one. Thinking about wearing gloves to bed from now on. :)

Cornholio Visions

2008-09-04T09:24:00.009-05:00

Basically, I'm just writing down my instant coffee recipe so I don't loose it (which is currently written in pink crayon on a post-it). I originally got the recipe from hillbilly housewife and after making little adjustments here and there, I found my perfect mix. Feel free to mix up a double shot and summons the spirit of Cornholio.

Instant Coffee Mix

1/2 cup instant coffee (or as my bff calls it: "poser coffee")

1/2 cup powdered milk

1/2 cup non dairy creamer

3/4 cup Ovaltine (stop laughing)

1/4 cup chocolate pudding mix

1 teaspoon cinnamon

Mix all together and store in airtight container. 3 TBS per glass of hot water.

Normally, I would mix all the ingredients in the blender to make a loverly powdery mix, but my blender, like my food processor, has gone to appliance heaven. Soooo, I'm stuck "whisking" it with a fork. Still drinkable, just not as pretty.

I WIN!

2008-09-03T11:52:00.004-05:00

I have conquered the bathroom! All it's funk and gunk and germy germs were no match for my quest to reclaim my bathroom. I have to confess that I have a very peculiar affection for bleach. Yes, I realize that it’s not PC to love bleach and I know that all my Greenies will fire obscenities at me. I just can’t deny it. The aroma of bleach to me smells like clean, fresh, germ free happiness. It’s had its spell on me since I was a wee lass at me mum’s apron strings. I used to LOVE to bleach the kitchen. Once, I even thought I’d get it extra spiffy and follow up with some ammonia. EWWWWW, not a good idea. Fortunately, my mom grabbed me up, tossed me out of the room, explained that I could kill everyone within a 6 mile radius with the vapors and then took us to McDonald’s while we waited for the house to air. All in all, not a bad day. But, I digress, the bathroom is clean, sparkly, germ free and filled with glorious Clorox Clean-Up fumes. I shall now sit upon my bahootus and play some POGO for a bit as my reward for vanquishing the icky-pewy-yucks.

Then again, maybe not. I just realized it's lunch time and those munchkins get a bit cranky if you don't feed them. Strange huh? :)

Rain, Rain, Come and Stay!

2008-09-03T08:41:00.004-05:00

Well, it's a loverly rainy day (yes I really love rainy summer days). By some great miracle the youngest are upstairs playing happily which gives me a few minutes to just sit here and enjoy my yummishious iced coffee. So I thought I'd say hi....HI!

I've been fighting with this sciatic nerve issue for a wee bit over a month. Not too cool considering my husband just had back surgery and needs me to take care of him much more than I need him to take care of me. It had gotten pretty bad, to the point I couldn't walk. Seriously, I had to crawl/slither on the floor just to get to the bathroom. Fortunately, we have an amazing family friend who is a massage therapist. This guy is uber cool and amazingly intelligent. In the 15 years that I've known him, I always learn something new every time I talk with him. Anyhoo, he's been giving me treatments and hooking me up with some natural medicines and it has done WONDERS! I was actually able to take the kids to the grocery store and do real shopping! That translates to about 1 1/2 hours of walking through the store and we all made it out alive and upright. Yeeehaw!

I tell you all this because my house has gone to pot being as I haven't been able to do too much. Thankfully, my mom (where would the world be without moms?) has come over several times to help me with laundry, vacuuming, kids, etc. so we're not completely snowed under, but it's still icky none the less. I'm trying to work on a recovery plan while still not going so far as to set me back to that slithering stage. Today I have 2 missions, sterilize the downstairs bathroom and do laundry.

Oh while I'm at it, let me share my laundry soap recipe with you:

2 cups grated Zote (laundry soap bar found in the laundry isle, regular IVORY works well too)

1 cup borax

1 cup washing soda (not baking soda, again found in laundry isle)

Mix well and store in airtight container. Use 2 Tablespoons per load. Really, that's all it takes.

I used to use my food proccesor to grate the soap and then mix everything up, but being as I overworked my proccesor, I'm left to grate it by hand. Let's have a moment of silence for my loverly food proccessor, may it rest in peace.

Just for funsies, here's a pic of our baby kitty Dakota enjoying the rain.

Daring Bakers August Challenge

2008-08-31T05:31:00.002-05:00

This was my first Daring Bakers challenge. Being as I LOVE to bake I was stoked about my first challenge and to top it off, we were making chocolate Éclairs. I figured I had this one in the bag being as I used to make cream puffs all the time. I forgot to account for the fact that It’s been over a decade since I’ve made some (yikes, I feel old now). In my attempt to conquer these tasty pastries I learned a few things:

1. I am way too easily amused
2. I really really need to get a pastry bag
3. Parchment paper is smarter than I am
4. Chocolate makes all things better.

I started with the chocolate pastry cream and it all went smashingly. Although when my oldest son came home he looked at me like I was a looney as I happily stirred my bowl of chocolate in a sink full of ice water. He simply shrugged and moved on being as odd occurrences aren’t really anything new in our household.

Next came the cream puff dough. This is ideal if you want to get rid of that nasty arm flab, because when you’re done, your arm will be NUMB! First you boil milk, water, salt, and butter, then dump in the flour and stir like there’s no tomorrow. Just when you think you’re done, stir for another 3 mins. Whew! Now you can break out the good ole mixer and beat in your eggs one at a time. This was my favorite part! I found it so fascinating the way the dough would change consistency and color with each addition. I got so carried away with it that I added an extra egg. The only thing that stopped me from adding a dozen more was that the dough revolted, turned into “The Blob” and tried to swallow the mixer.

The Choux Pastry attacking my mixer

After the dough is ready you simply pipe it onto some parchment paper and toss it into the oven. Now this would be easy if you have a pastry bag. She of little kitchen accessories doesn’t have one. Being the intelligent woman that I am I decide to make one out of parchment paper. You simply make a triangle with the paper and roll it up. Easy peasy right? NOT! I could not get the darn thing to roll up big enough to actually put the dough in it. Of course I blamed the paper, after all it couldn’t be MY lack of brain cells. My kitchen looked like the paper gnomes just had a riot. There were paper shreds and splatters of dough everywhere. This is the part of the recipe where you find me desperately searching for that bottle of Vodka. Eventually I did manage to get a couple of spoonfuls of dough in my high tech bag and squeaked out a few “chubby fingers”. I then gave in to the enticement of the simple “plop it on the paper” cream puff. Ahhhh much better.

The results of the pastry bag fiasco somehow it actually puffed!

The rest of the recipe was blissful chocolate sauce. The hardest part of that was not eating it all up. Due to my weirdness about getting my fingers messy when I’m eating and my deep desire to conquer the parchment paper pastry bag, I decide to pipe the glaze on top instead of covering it whole. And yes, I did finally show that paper who’s boss. Boooyah!

Ta Dah! Eclairs!

Thank you Tony Tahhan and MeetaK for a great challenge from Chocolate Desserts By Pierre Hermé written by Dorie Greenspan. Be sure to check out the other Daring Bakers results.

the recipe:
Pierre Hermé’s Chocolate Éclairs
Recipe from Chocolate Desserts by Pierre Hermé
(makes 20-24 Éclairs)
Cream Puff Dough (see below for recipe), fresh and still warm
Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Divide the oven into thirds by positioning the racks in the upper and lower half of the oven. Line two baking sheets with waxed or parchment paper.
Fill a large pastry bag fitted with a 2/3 (2cm) plain tip nozzle with the warm cream puff dough. Pipe the dough onto the baking sheets in long, 4 to 41/2 inches (about 11 cm) chubby fingers. Leave about 2 inches (5 cm) space in between each dough strip to allow them room to puff. The dough should give you enough to pipe 20-24 éclairs.
Slide both the baking sheets into the oven and bake for 7 minutes. After the 7 minutes, slip the handle of a wooden spoon into the door to keep in ajar. When the éclairs have been in the oven for a total of 12 minutes, rotate the sheets top to bottom and front to back. Continue baking for a further 8 minutes or until the éclairs are puffed, golden and firm. The total baking time should be approximately 20 minutes.
Notes:1) The éclairs can be kept in a cool, dry place for several hours before filling.
Assembling the éclairs:
• Chocolate glaze (see below for recipe)
• Chocolate pastry cream (see below for recipe)
Slice the éclairs horizontally, using a serrated knife and a gently sawing motion. Set aside the bottoms and place the tops on a rack over a piece of parchment paper.
The glaze should be barely warm to the touch (between 95 – 104 degrees F or 35 – 40degrees C, as measured on an instant read thermometer). Spread the glaze over the tops of the éclairs using a metal icing spatula. Allow the tops to set and in the meantime fill the bottoms with the pastry cream.
Pipe or spoon the pastry cream into the bottoms of the éclairs. Make sure you fill the bottoms with enough cream to mound above the pastry. Place the glazed tops onto the pastry cream and wriggle gently to settle them.
Notes:
1) If you have chilled your chocolate glaze, reheat by placing it in a bowl over simmering water, stirring it gently with a wooden spoon. Do not stir too vigorously as you do not want to create bubbles.
2) The éclairs should be served as soon as they have been filled.
Pierre Hermé’s Cream Puff Dough
Recipe from Chocolate Desserts by Pierre Hermé
(makes 20-24 Éclairs)
½ cup whole milk
½ cup water
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, cut into 8 pieces
¼ teaspoon sugar
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
5 large eggs, at room temperature
In a heavy bottomed medium saucepan, bring the milk, water, butter, sugar and salt to the boil.
Once the mixture is at a rolling boil, add all of the flour at once, reduce the heat to medium and start to stir the mixture vigorously with a wooden spoon. The dough comes together very quickly. Do not worry if a slight crust forms at the bottom of the pan, it’s supposed to. You need to carry on stirring for a further 2-3 minutes to dry the dough. After this time the dough will be very soft and smooth.
Transfer the dough into a bowl of a mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, or using your hand mixer or if you still have the energy, continue by hand. Add the eggs one at a time, beating after each egg has been added to incorporate it into the dough. You will notice that after you have added the first egg, the dough will separate, once again do not worry. As you keep working the dough, it will come back all together again by the time you have added the third egg. In the end the dough should be thick and shiny and when lifted it should fall back into the bowl in a ribbon.
The dough should be still warm. It is now ready to be used for the éclairs as directed above.
Notes:
1) Once the dough is made you need to shape it immediately.
2) You can pipe the dough and the freeze it. Simply pipe the dough onto parchment-lined baking sheets and slide the sheets into the freezer. Once the dough is completely frozen, transfer the piped shapes into freezer bags. They can be kept in the freezer for up to a month.
Chocolate Pastry Cream
Recipe from Chocolate Desserts by Pierre Hermé
2 cups (500g) whole milk
4 large egg yolks
6 tbsp (75g) sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch, sifted
7 oz (200g) bittersweet chocolate, preferably Velrhona Guanaja, melted
2½ tbsp (1¼ oz: 40g) unsalted butter, at room temperature
In a small saucepan, bring the milk to a boil. In the meantime, combine the yolks, sugar and cornstarch together and whisk in a heavy bottomed saucepan.
Once the milk has reached a boil, temper the yolks by whisking a couple spoonfuls of the hot milk into the yolk mixture. Continue whisking and slowly pour the rest of the milk into the tempered yolk mixture.
Strain the mixture back into the saucepan to remove any egg that may have scrambled. Place the pan over medium heat and whisk vigorously (without stop) until the mixture returns to a boil. Keep whisking vigorously for 1 to 2 more minutes (still over medium heat).Stir in the melted chocolate and then remove the pan from the heat.
Scrape the pastry cream into a small bowl and set it in an ice water bath to stop the cooking process. Make sure to continue stirring the mixture at this point so that it remains smooth.
Once the cream has reached a temperature of 140 F remove from the ice water bath and stir in the butter in three or four installments. Return the cream to the ice water bath to continue cooling, stirring occasionally, until it has completely cooled. The cream is now ready to use or store in the fridge.
Notes:
1) The pastry cream can be made 2-3 days in advance and stored in the refrigerator.
2) In order to avoid a skin forming on the pastry cream, cover with plastic wrap pressed onto the cream.
3) Tempering the eggs raises the temperature of the eggs slowly so that they do not scramble.
Chocolate Glaze
Recipe from Chocolate Desserts by Pierre Hermé
(makes 1 cup or 300g)
1/3 cup (80g) heavy cream
3½ oz (100g) bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
4 tsp (20 g) unsalted butter, cut into 4 pieces, at room temperature
7 tbsp (110 g) Chocolate Sauce (recipe below), warm or at room temperature
In a small saucepan, bring the heavy cream to a boil. Remove from the heat and slowly begin to add the chocolate, stirring with a wooden spoon or spatula.
Stirring gently, stir in the butter, piece by piece followed by the chocolate sauce.
Notes:
1) If the chocolate glaze is too cool (i.e. not liquid enough) you may heat it briefly in the microwave or over a double boiler. A double boiler is basically a bowl sitting over (not touching) simmering water.
2) It is best to glaze the éclairs after the glaze is made, but if you are pressed for time, you can make the glaze a couple days ahead of time, store it in the fridge and bring it up to the proper temperature (95 to 104 F) when ready to glaze.
Chocolate Sauce
Recipe from Chocolate Desserts by Pierre Hermé
(makes 1½ cups or 525 g)
4½ oz (130 g) bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
1 cup (250 g) water
½ cup (125 g) crème fraîche, or heavy cream
1/3 cup (70 g) sugar
Place all the ingredients into a heavy bottomed saucepan and bring to a boil, making sure to stir constantly. Then reduce the heat to low and continue stirring with a wooden spoon until the sauce thickens.
It may take 10-15 minutes for the sauce to thicken, but you will know when it is done when it coats the back of your spoon.
Notes:
1) You can make this sauce ahead of time and store it in the refrigerator for two weeks. Reheat the sauce in a microwave oven or a double boiler before using.
2) This sauce is also great for cakes, ice-cream and tarts.

Operation Baking GALS

2008-08-29T17:59:00.010-05:00

I've joined up with OPERATION BAKING GALS, an awesome group of bakers who have banned together to send yummy treats to our troops. So often we take for granted the sacrifices that others are making for our benefit. It's very easy to have a complacent attitude about our military because they're not in our front yards. That fact alone should make you thankful that they do such a great job. Our service men and women voluntarily agree to sacrifice their lives for the benifit of total strangers. It's time for every American, whether you agree with what's going on or not, to "grow a pair" and support the men and women who give their all to uphold America's great name.

You do have the right to disagree and leave me a nasty comment. Just remember to tell the military "Thanks" for giving you that right.

While you're at it, check out this link. It will put a lot of things back in perspective. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGHtMPJ3KtA&feature=related

Ok, so now that we've had that little chat, we sent off our package of yummy goodies today. We made Brownie Cookies, M&M Blondies, Rice Crispy Treats, and Oatmeal Raisin Cookies. We sent along a few other goodies like a mini football, lollipops, and a few decks of cards. After explaining to Miss Danielle about what we were doing, she told me that we needed to send them a guard dog to help "catch the bad guys". She found a lovely little stuffed pug to send along and made sure he didn't get left behind.

This was my first time sending things overseas and I sure hope it makes it okay. I followed the advice of another baker and tried stuffing apple peels between layers of towels to keep the cookies soft. I guess if they get hard in transport, they will make lovely paperweights, door stops, or even weapons if need be. Anyhoo, I had a blast baking and hope it helps bring a smile to one of America's Heroes.

Oatmeal Raisin cookies
1 cup butter, softened
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 cups rolled oats
1 cup raisins

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Cream together the butter, brown sugar, white sugar, eggs, and vanilla until smooth. Combine the flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt in a seperate bowl, then stir into the sugar mixture. Stir in the oats and raisins. Eat a spoonful of dough just to make sure it's good (hee hee). Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake 9-10 minutes until light and golden. Let them cool for 5 minutes before removing from cookie sheets to cool completely.

Dansclan: Another video!

2008-08-28T14:33:00.001-05:00

You've got to check out my hubby's post. It'll CRACK you up!!!
Dansclan: Another video!

From“Chicken in Every Pot” to “Blog on Every Monitor”

2008-08-28T13:30:00.002-05:00

Last night as I lay wrapped in my little blanket cocoon, I pondered why exactly blogging is so popular. It’s quite liberating to give your thoughts a way to exit your over crowded mind. Maybe a bit like a storage closet for those burdensome worries and thoughts that pollute your everyday life. Also, it's a lovely politically correct way to brag about your life and those that you are proud of without the backlash of actually saying to someone, "Ha ha, my kid (spouse, sister, dog, microwave oven, etc) is better than yours!". The fact that others can read it feeds the human need to be heard and to feel that someone, somewhere thinks that what you have to say is important. Of course, we can't forget that blogs also make it possible for every person on the planet to be a "Published Writer". Now we all have something to brag about at those pesky high school reunions. Sweet huh?

McApple Insanity

2008-08-22T11:49:00.017-05:00

It's true I have lost my mind and delved into the trenches of.... well, you'll see.

Yesterday was one of those "Papa Roach" days so my hubby gave me the day off and hooked up some Mickey D's. Being good "health conscious" parents, we made sure the kids had apples instead of fries with their 35 fat gram burger of nutritious emptiness. After eating, there was one pack of apple dippers and caramel left over so it went into the fridge to await it's next life.

This morning I awoke to the realization that there just was not enough coffee in the world to get me running on all four cylinders. I opened the fridge to start making breakfast and eyed a can of Pillsbury Pizza crust and those blessed apple dippers. This is where the gates to Dough Boy heaven open and little angel food cakes begin singing. Eureka! Instant caramel apple cinnamon roll type breakfast thingy!

I unrolled the pizza dough, spread the caramel sauce over it, tossed on chopped McApples and topped it with cinnamon.

Rolled it up and made a ring and put some slits on top just to be fancy schmancy. The crazy thing is, it was actually good.

Don't worry, to make up for the complete lack of nutrition, I made up some strawberry and V-8 smoothies. Hmmm, now what can I do with all these taco sauce packets from Taco Bell?

One Potato, Two

2008-08-20T23:05:00.007-05:00

I’ve had a yearning for some potato bread for days now. Unfortunately the potato police have been most successful in thwarting my mission....Until today. Mwaaaa haaa haa!

Today was a beautiful overcast day, the kind that screams for oven fresh baked goodies. Dan was off doing manly man things, the boys were “enjoying” their first day back at school and it was just me and the mini-munchkins. The only way for it to be a more perfect bread making day would be for a kitchen fairy to magically appear and “Bipity Bopity Boo” me enough counter space to properly knead dough. Nevertheless, my mind was set, the forces of nature were on my bread making side and no one would stop me from my starchy victory.

I asked Danielle if she wanted to help make some bread. Her little hazel eyes lit up and she skipped into the kitchen saying “I’m the Little Red Hen and Sam is the cat” (it’s one of our bedtime stories). After helping mix all the ingredients, she got her very own ball of dough to knead and bake. Which, by the way, was the cutest darn thing to watch! We even put a letter “D” on hers with my trusty food coloring markers (again, the elation of a dollar well spent). Of course, she picked the color yellow with which to write, and surprisingly it showed after baking.

The thing about baking bread is that it forces you to slow down a bit. Gives you time to think things over while providing a lovely little workout for your arms. Really, when was the last time you took 10 mins to just smoosh something? It’s quite therapeutic. Truthfully, my favorite part of making bread is getting to punch down the dough after the first rise. Especially when you do an old fashion, I only have a fourth of a teaspoon of yeast left, over night rise where the dough is all spongy and uber inflated, yet the surface is so smooth and pillowy. Deep breath in and POW. The dough is helpless against your release of pent up angst. Then you get to smoosh it again! Yeah, I like bread.

So here’s our Potato Onion Wheat(ish) Rolls and some pics of Miss Danielle in all her “Little Red Hen” beauty: Be sure to note her first self made roll. It’s the one on the bottom with the yellow “D”, just in case you weren’t paying attention to what I said earlier.

Savoring the goodness of Starch

"Hey mom, Melvin the giraffe likes it too!"

Mmmmm!

Potato Onion Wheat Rolls
1 cup warm potato water
2 tsp yeast
1 tsp honey
1/2 cup mashed potatoes
2 cups unbleached flour
1 1/2 cups wheat flour
2 tsp salt
1 tbsp onion powder

Put potato water into large mixing bowl, add yeast and honey and let sit for 10 mins to proof. Meanwhile, in a separate bowl, mix flours, salt and onion powder together. After yeast mixture has become frothy, stir in mashed potatoes and flour mixture until it forms a ball. If it's too sticky, add more flour; too dry add more water (FYI: you'll want to lean more on the sticky side).

Roll the dough out onto a floured surface and knead for about 10 mins. Shape into a ball and place inside a greased bowl covered with plastic wrap or a dish cloth. Let rise until doubled in size (about 60-90 mins). Punch down dough and smoosh the air out of it. Divide dough into little balls and place on a greased cookie sheet. Cover again with plastic wrap/dish cloth and let rise again for an hour(ish).

Cook at 375 degrees for 15-20 mins. Once baked, brush butter on tops and cover again with plastic wrap/dish cloth and let cool.

Tain't Nothing Yummier than..

2008-08-20T11:32:00.004-05:00

a take charge kind of guy. I'm not exactly sure why, but great googaly moogaly, it makes me swoon to have a man who stands up for his family and says "Now look here Pilgrim, your foolishness is messin' with this here homestead and I'm giving you 'till dawn to mount up your pony and ride out of town." Okay, maybe not those words exactly, but I'm sure it was some John Wayne-esque phrase. Truth is, he could've just said, "Blabbity boo, yippy skippy wipiquad". I was busy being enthralled by the vision of my strong manly man, golden hair glistening in the sun, swaggering up to his foe as he says to me, "Stand back ma'am, I'll take care of this rascal." Ahhhhhh, smelling salts anyone?

Wipiquad

2008-08-16T23:43:00.001-05:00

Well that's just cheating at Scrabble.

Whole Wheat Banana Muffins

2008-08-11T12:59:00.006-05:00

These are the best banana muffins ever (no really, EVER)! I adapted it from a recipe from the Barefoot Contessa which you can find here. The husband doesn't do crunchy so I had to nix the nuts and banana chips (moment of silence, sniff, sniff). In my attempt to feel less guilty eating these, I used only whole wheat flour and cut the sugar and butter and added more banana. Since these were for little hands, I made 18 small muffins filling the cups only half full, but it would probably make a dozen regular ones.

1 1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

3/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup melted butter

1/4 cup applesauce

1 egg

1/3 cup milk

2 tsp pure vanilla

2 bananas, mashed

1 banana, chopped

1/2 cup rolled oats

1/2 cup sweetened shredded

Sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. In seperate bowl, mix butter and sugar together until sugar is disolved, then blend in with other dry ingredients. Next, blend the applesauce, egg, milk, vanilla and mashed banana together and mix into the flour mixture until well blended. Fold in the chopped banana, oats, and coconuts. Fill muffin cups and bake at 350 degrees for about 25 mins (until toothpick comes out clean). Cool and eat.

Cute as a Bug

2008-08-10T13:09:00.004-05:00

All this cuteness thanks to German engineering and American Hallucinogens.

Go ahead and Give Peace a Chance!

El Pollo Loco-chilada

2008-08-04T21:21:00.003-05:00

Tonight I decided to make Chicken Enchiladas. I know I just went off on a “too hot to cook” tirade, but it’s my kitchen and I can do what I want within it. I should’ve taken this as a warning, but we are talking about me here and I don‘t do warnings very well. Anyhoo, I have two different recipes for Chicken Enchiladas, one takes ALL day to make and includes lots of homemade stuff, the other is a bounty from the pantry/freezer and takes about one hour from gathering ingredients to tossing it on the table. I opted for the latter.

Now, every good cook knows that the first thing you do is gather your ingredients. I am not such a good cook. Being as Sam and Danielle have decided now is the time to have kitchen races, I figure I better just get at it, so I grabbed the sour cream and threw it in the bowl with the soup. I search the upper cabinet for a can of chicken broth and then the lower cabinet, which requires me to actually sit on the floor. Sam takes this as a cue that it’s Sit on Mommy Time! Of course there’s no broth, so after convincing Sam that it’s okay to let Mommy stand back up, I search the closet (my poser pantry). Meanwhile, the kids spot the step stool. Nothing says Zen quite like two toddlers having a tug of war over a step stool. I tell them to stop, naturally, Danielle, in her big sister way, instantly lets go and sends Sam sailing into the swing gate. Ahhh the joyful sound of hearing my son hit high C and hold it for 2 minutes. Everyone count with me….10.….9.…(deep breath in)…8.….7.…(deep breath out)…. After giving up on the hope of finding broth in the closet or the freezer, I grab the bullion and pray the Blood Pressure Police don’t find me.

So now I’ve got my chickeny-sour creamy-soupy goodness blended, seasoned and ready for the veggies. I go to chopping the peppers and realize that I have in fact defrosted broccoli. I ponder for a moment if I can pass off broccoli for peppers. Nahhh. I grab the sliced peppers from the freezer and decide I’ll just chop them frozen and they can defrost INSIDE the enchiladas. So now I’m ready for the cheese. Being the freak that I am, I just couldn’t bring myself to buy the pre-shredded cheese (seriously, do you know what they do to keep the cheese from sticking to itself. Ewwwwwww). I grab my slab-o-cheese and my flat grater and begin shredding . As my arm begins to cramp, my mind drifts to the good old days with my food processor. Oh the times we had together, chopping, grinding, shredding, mixing. Why, oh why, did I have to push you to the limits? RIP my sweet food processor.*sigh*.

Somehow between all the, “Stop doing that.”, “Put that back.”, “What is in your mouth?”, and “No, the kitty doesn’t want to be a hat.”, I finally manage to get the enchiladas in the oven. Just as I’m thinking to myself, “Does Flintstones make a children’s chewable tranquilizer?”, the timer goes off and I’m saved by dinner! WHOOO HOOO!

So here for all to enjoy is the recipe for Quick Enchiladas adapted from Menus 4 Moms:
2 cups shredded or chopped cooked chicken
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can chicken broth
8 oz. sour cream
1 onions, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
Cilantro, cumin, garlic to taste
8 whole wheat flour tortillas
2 cups shredded cheese
1 chopped tomato (optional)
Combine soup, sour cream, and 3/4 can chicken broth. Set aside 1 cup of this mixture. To the remaining mixture, add chicken, onion, pepper, and spices to taste. Add 1 cups of the cheese.
Fill tortilla with mixture, roll up, and place in pan. Add the remaining Chicken broth to the reserved soup mixture and pour over enchiladas. Sprinkle remaining cheese over enchiladas and top with tomato. Cook enchiladas at 350° until bubbly (about 30 mins).

If You Can't Take The Heat, Get Out Of The Kitchen

2008-08-01T20:32:00.013-05:00

With it being hotter than a frying pan outside, I realized the need for no cook, or pretty darn close to no cook, meals. Here are some to help you make it through these roasting days.

Chicken Caesar Salad
8 cups chopped romaine
1 can (12oz) cooked chicken (drained)
1/3 cup parmesan
1/4 cup bacon bits
1/2 cup croutons
Pepper to taste (me likey LOTS of pepper)
1/4 cup Caesar salad dressing
Mix it all up in a bowl and insert fork. Slice some peaches with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top for dessert. Yumm-a-licious

Bean Burritos
1 can refried beans
Shredded cheddar cheese
Whole wheat tortillas
Your choice of additions (tomatoes, romaine, sour cream, olives, etc)
Put beans in bowl, top with cheese and nuke until warm and melty. Smear it in the tortillas with your choice of additions and serve it up with some chips and pico de gallo. For dessert, sliced strawberries and kiwi with yogurt for dipping. OLE!

Crisp Chicken Slaw
3 cups shredded cabbage
1 cup chopped broccoli
1cup chopped carrots
1 can (12oz) cooked chicken (drained)
1/3 cup Hendrickson’s dressing
1/4 cup sunflower seeds
Toss and serve with cheese cubes and whole wheat crackers. Watermelon for dessert, so you can have seed spitting contests. Yee-haw!

Italian Tuna Pasta
16oz penne pasta
1can tuna (drained)
1/3 to 1/2 cup basil pesto (depending on how saucy you feel)
6(softened)sun-dried tomatoes, chopped
1 can (14oz) artichoke hearts, drained and cut to your liking
1 small can black olives (drained)
1/2 red onion, sliced
Feta cheese for topping
Heat water to boiling, add pasta, put on lid, TURN OFF HEAT and let sit for 15 mins (don’t peek at it). Rinse pasta with cold water and mix everything together in a bowl, top with feta. Sliced plums topped with sherbet for dessert. Delizioso!

Cali Subs
1 can (12oz) cooked chicken(drained)
Whole wheat hoagie rolls
Sliced Avocado
Alfalfa sprouts
Swiss cheese
Bacon Pieces
Chopped grape tomatoes
Miracle whip
Make sandwich with above ingredients (tricky, I know, lol). Serve it with a tossed salad and for desert mix a can of tropical mixed fruit with cool whip and walnuts. Surf-o-rific! (FYI: My sammich is pictured with Mediterranean Terra Chips)

Domestic Zen

2008-07-31T15:27:00.006-05:00

I do believe I've discovered the secret to happy housekeeping. Multi-colored plates!! Just look at that loverly dishwasher(ohhhhh ahhhhhh woooow). Yes, I know you're thinking, "How lame are you to take a picture of your plates?", but deep down you're thinking, "Ya know, I suddenly feel like breaking out in ABBA songs". That's right, it's the power of the Happy Plate!

New Toys!

2008-07-29T16:54:00.007-05:00

While shopping the other day, I found food coloring markers on sale for $.75! Therefore, lunch of course consists of happy star grilled cheese sandwiches. Who knew a dollar could bring so much joy to my life? WHEEEE!

Sam Speaks

2008-07-29T12:54:00.001-05:00

For a year and a half now, we've been anxiously awaiting for baby Sam to move beyond pointing and grunting. Although, I must admit that he's made an art of it and has us well trained to respond correctly. Last night while changing his diaper, we did our usual "who's that on your diaper? Can you say Elmo?". To our shock and amazement he actually said "ELMO"! So here's his vocal debut for all to enjoy. Sorry about the poor video, we had the lights dimmed for bedtime.

Munchkin Mania!

2008-07-27T00:29:00.012-05:00

I was just looking through some pics on the computer and couldn't resist sharing!

Some kids smile, mine show you their tonsils.

This was “Cow Appreciation Day” at Chick-fil-a. If you dressed like a cow you got free lunch! They had little cow tails and ears, and Danielle even had a cow mask, although, they were quickly lost once we hit the playground. My oldest son informed me, as I was making MY cow ears, that I’d probably have done it even if we didn’t get free lunch (and yes I would, hee hee).

Miss Danielle enjoying her Easter Peeps. For some reason she won’t eat the whole Peep, only the heads. Hmmm maybe I should seek therapy before she ends up on tour with Ozzy Osbourne.

The visual of a day in my life: Danielle screaming and Sam happily shoving some nonfood item in his mouth

Need I say more?

Mel The Dog

2008-07-26T10:53:00.005-05:00

This is pretty much the theme song in our house. WARNING: This song is made of glue and will stick in your head for days!

Step 2

2008-07-24T09:29:00.001-05:00

Ecclesiastes 7:21
Also, do not take seriously all words which are spoken, so that you will not hear your servant cursing you

Step Away From The Axe

2008-07-23T15:32:00.004-05:00

1 Peter 3:9
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Sam and Pooh

2008-07-21T17:51:00.004-05:00

Litte Pooh Bear has been out of batteries for several weeks now and today during snack time we finally brought him back to life. I think baby Sam missed him!

I love Danielle's comment at the end "Not on his face". Spoken like a true big sister.

The Great Commision

2008-07-20T21:53:00.002-05:00

My hubby just had back surgery last Monday which you can read more about on his blog Dansclan. It’s been a challenge, but he’s a tough cookie and he‘s getting better with each day. I’m trying my best to make it an easy recovery for him, but with toddlers running about and our bedroom upstairs, it hasn’t been very easy. We visited a new church the Sunday before he had the surgery and fell in love with the people there and immediately decided it would be our new church home. Tonight I finished putting the kids to bed, checked in on my hubby and the phone started ringing. I ran downstairs to grab it and it was one of the ladies from High Pointe Church. During their Sunday night meeting they arranged for the congregation to bring us dinner every night this week! All I could do was cry, as a matter of fact, I’m still having a hard time typing through my teary eyes. I’ve grown up going to church and I’ve been to just about every denomination out there, from Catholic to passed out in the isle Holly Rollers. I’ve never seen a group of people more focused on showing Christ’s love with no expectations of return. They simply do what the bible tells us to do in Matthew 22:36-39

Bill This

2008-07-11T16:47:00.004-05:00

My awesome hubby bought me a cell phone for mother’s day and knowing what a freak I am about contracts, he got service from Cricket, which is contract free. Well, after having several problems and consistantly having to spend 20-30mins on hold BEFORE even getting to talk to a person, just to find their accent was so strong that I couldn’t understand them, we decided to tell them to bugger off. One month later, they charged my account for 2 months service. Needless to say I was ticked. After jumping through hoops that you wouldn’t believe if I told you, they said it’d be credited back to my account within 48 hours. This was a week ago and it hasn’t been done yet. Thankfully, my bank rocks and they are going to help me fight it. We are now with T-Mobile and I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE them, contract and all, lol (Thanks Boo-boo!).

After dealing with the Cricket issue, I continue on with paying the bills. When I see my ATT bill, with whom I have home phone and formerly internet, I find that they have charged me for the entire month’s internet after I had cancelled it. When I called to have it fixed they informed me that they would have to wait until the next billing cycle to adjust it and I should call back next month. Ummmm, don’t think so. After we finished our conversation, I called and started service with another company that is $10 cheaper per month, no connection fee, and they’re giving me the first 3 months free. I then joyfully called AT&T back and told them that we were done doing business with them. Amazingly they offered to INSTANTLY credit my account for the pro-rated internet and give me $5 off our home phone for the next 3 months.. I guess we were suddenly sucked into some black hole that gave them the ability to make adjustments before the billing cycle. Unfortunately, it’s too little too late and I’m going to spend my extra $10 victory money on a new oven mit! Whooo hooo!

Mini Meaty Morsels

2008-07-10T22:16:00.004-05:00

Today I ran across one of those things that are so completely obvious, you couldn't help but continuously overlook them, leaving you to feel like the brainiac of the year. Today mine was the "Mini-meatloaf". My hubby is a carnivore's carnivore (hmm, does that make him a cannibal?) and he likey meatloaf. Meanwhile back at the ranch, Oklahoma is doing it's impression of Hell and the thought of having to cook a hunk of meat for an hour and a half makes me want to gouge my eyes out with an hors d'oeuvre toothpick.

To the rescue comes the "Mini-meatloaf"!!! You simply fill muffin tins with the meatloaf and cook away at 375 for 30 mins. Presto, muffin's made for a man. Serve it up with a ham omelet, a slab of bacon, and a roll of sausage and I've got one happy hubby. FYI, I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER feed such a meal to my husband. Actually, I'm pretty sure that eating one such breakfast would instantly make you uninsurable by most major insurance companies. Anyhoo, I'm in love with these little guys. Thank you Meatloaf King!

Duck and Cover

2008-07-08T15:25:00.005-05:00

Well, I figure the message from the sermon Sunday must've been a really important one because boy howdy has it been battle after battle the last couple of days. You know when you have that overhang of yuck everywhere? We had a double dose of it. Boo and I have been about ready to pluck each other's eyes out. I find it amazing how one can be so unbelievably mean to one's spouse (and this is a TWO way street). If you've had a bad day, you just vomit angry words at each other, or try to disintegrate each other with the "lava stare of doom". I sometimes wonder if this is just a test of security. Maybe subconsciously you're trying to see if they're going to bugger off if things get ugly, just so you won't be caught off guard at a time when you really need them to be there.

release valve

2008-07-06T12:09:00.003-05:00

While at church this morning I thought of lots of things that I would like to blog about. After coming home and having a screaming match, I simply would like to say...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

Thanks, I feel better.

Happy Joy Joy!

2008-07-04T15:49:00.007-05:00

I now feel like the coolest chick EVER!!!! Anyone who's been around me knows that I love to bake and one of my favorite things is COOKIES. I make delicious UGLY cookies. You know the kind where you have 1/2 doz jumbos, 1/2 dozen minis and all of them have an extra "leg" coming off one side or another making them look more like The Blob than nummishious treats? I have tried and tried over the years to make uniform pretty cookies, but even when I try rolling them into little balls I end up with a plethora of odd sizes. Maybe it's a depth perception thing (guess I'll never get to fly with the Blue Angels). Anyhoo, I finally broke down and splurged on a cookie dipper. Owooooo. It is the coolest thing since sliced bread and I just made the most beautiful batch of uniform cookies. I will confess that I didn't make them from scratch though. The store had Valentine cake mixes on sale for $.30 each and with my coupon they were $.05 each and they don't expire until June 2010 (had to brag about that one). Soooo, I changed the liquids a bit and made the cake mix into cookie mix. Aren't they loverly? Go ahead, you may lick the screen, I won't tell.

Nate the Great

2008-06-30T08:10:00.007-05:00

Welcome to today. It’s June 30 2008, the day that my first baby turns 18. Not sure just how it happened, I think I must’ve blinked or something. I’ve been trying to pace my bawling fits in an attempt to elude a complete breakdown. Thankfully he’s not moving out just yet, so that does help a bit. I find it amazing how one can feel the tug of “Empty Nest syndrome” when your house is still filled with the sound of teens running up and down the stairs and toddlers playing. None the less, my little man is a legal man today and all I want to do is hold him and not let him go. His father called last night and he too is having a hard time with it. At least I know that I’m not alone and completely crazy. Ok, we’ll just leave it at “not alone”.

I’m now officially too weepy eyed to type, so I’m going to play with the babies and crawl back into a comfortable state of denial.

Sailing on the Turkey Sea

2008-06-28T15:22:00.002-05:00

Ya know those sanity keepers I spoke of in my earlier post? Well, one of them is making Food pictures. I haven't really been able to make time for actual sketching, so I've been taking my art urges out on the kid's plates. The kids think it's fun and amazingly, they will actually eat 'funky' food if it's in a cool shape (gotta love toddler logic). Today we have a tortilla, turkey, and carrot boat, watermelon fishy-fish, and mozzarella rocks.

Here's one I did a few days ago. I promise it wasn't actually all green, I took the pic with my cell phone that I don't really know how to operate, lol. Anyhoo, it's chicken salad Butterfly sandwhiches (with wheat germ hidden inside, shhhhhh, it's fiberlicious!), chicken, cheese and grape flowers, and apple circle sammiches with grape halves.

They're coming to take me away!

2008-06-27T15:49:00.009-05:00

I’m a stay at home mom, a job description that often meets the upturned nose or the “aren’t you precious” smirk. In my life I have worn the shoes of stay home mom, work at home mom, full and part time working mom, married mom and single mom. Each path has its own challenges and rewards. As a stay home mom, you are always at work. There are no sick days, vacation days, or even lunch breaks. Imagine, if you will, living with every person at your office. When the day has been long, you aren’t able to look at the clock and say, "Only one more hour until I can go home”, because YOU’RE ALREADY THERE! The work has infiltrated the sanctity of your home. Therefore it becomes quite the challenge to maintain a certain amount of lucidity while singing Itsy Bitsy Spider for the 1,763rd time and some of the things I do to keep my sanity may in fact, to outsiders, seem like reason enough to have me committed to the nearest mental asylum. Which is why I am merely An Apron Away From a Straitjacket.

testing testing

2008-06-27T12:04:00.000-05:00

So yeah, here it is. Me typing away trying to test this bloggity blog blog.