Friday, October 3, 2008

I Should've Been a Ninja

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to be on my Stealthy BBQ Chicken Pizza! Har har har har. Yah, I know, don't quit my day job. Anyhoooo, this is an easy, fast, tasty lunch/din-din. Everyone have their safety helmets on? Here we gooooooo!

BTW, Boo, if you're reading this, stop now and flip over to The Drudge Report or see if you can find a cool video for Depeche Mode's Tora Tora Tora. Thanks hun, it's for your own good. Love ya!

Okay, first procure some pizza dough and spread it onto a greased pizza pan or cookie sheet (pizza is cool and flexible like that). My favorite recipe can be found here. Today I totally cheated and used a can of Pillsbury pizza crust. Hey, I'm human and some days call for the Dough Boy to pitch in and do his share. Next, to satisfy your inner child, draw pretty designs on your dough with some BBQ sauce and honey then smear it all around so it's evenly distributed. I don't really measure but I'd guess about 1/3 cup BBQ sauce and 1/4 cup honey.

Now check to make sure no one is watching and sprinkle 1/4 cup wheat germ over the sauce and quickly put the jar back in the fridge before anyone sees you. If anyone asks, just say it's corn meal from the crust. Mwaaa haa haaa. Now add about 1/2 cup chopped red onion. I've learned some cool tricks to help with onion tears like: chilling your onion in the fridge before chopping; burning a candle close by; or having someone else chop them for you.

Next check again to make sure no one is looking and mince some tomatoes and just the tips off the florets of some broccoli stalks. You want them to be small enough that the broccoli looks like seasoning and the tomatoes look like bacon crumbles. Owoooooo. Quickly throw it on the pizza and cover it up with 2 slices crumbled bacon and 1 cup cooked shredded chicken. Can you even shred raw chicken? You can grind raw chicken, but can you get a shredder and truly shred raw chicken or would it just be a splattering of salmonella juice everywhere? Hmm, I'm going to have to give that a go and find out. Sorry, mental detour, sometimes the voices just win.

Where were we? Ahhh yes, cheese. Loverly, glorious cheese. Go with your gut on this one and pick a cheese that makes your toes wiggle. The hubby loves extra sharp cheddar and being as I'm sneaking in healthy goodness, I figure he deserves his hearts desire. I use about 1/4 cup mozzarella and 1 1/2 cup extra sharp cheddar. Top with a small can (8oz) of drained pineapple chunks and a sprinkle of cilantro (to hide the broccoli, hee hee) and toss it in a preheated 400 degree oven for about 15 mins. Put on a James Bond film and bask in the glory of getting your family to eat their veggies and whole grains.

Stealthy BBQ Chicken Pizza

1 can refrigerated pizza dough (or be cool and make it yourself)
1/3 cup BBQ sauce
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup wheat germ
1/2 cup red onion
1/4 cup minced tomatoes
1/4 cup minced broccoli
2 slices crumbled bacon
1 cup shredded cooked chicken
1/4 cup mozzarella cheese
1 1/2 cups extra sharp cheddar cheese
1 8oz can pineapple chunks, drained
1 TBS dried cilantro

Heat oven to 400. Grease pan and spread dough to edges of pan. Top with all ingredients and bake for about 15 min. (when cheese is melty and crust is golden).


dykewife said...

i'm lucky. if i hide the veg i get accused of leaving them out. thank heavens for kids that love their veg (including spinach!)

Allergy Mom said...

This looks like a winner. I am totally stealing your ideas for hiding the wheat germ/broccoli! (And now I know where to come to get my eighties music fix.) Libby