Sorry for the lack of proper structure, I just need to get it out.
Today was my former mother-in-law’s birthday. She was the most caring woman I’d ever met. She’d led quite a tough life, yet somehow managed to make it through all the mess without becoming hard. I never heard her try to pull the victim card even though the world offered her many reasons to do so. She had one of those smiles that could bring instant calm to a room and she always put other's needs before her own. Which is basically why we lost her. She died from breast cancer. After she died we found her journals and in them there was an entry where she had found a lump. They lived paycheck to paycheck and didn’t have health insurance, so she was faced with a choice of buying food and clothes for her kids or pay for a doctor’s visit. So years passed and by the time she got help it was very advanced. She was only able to do the bare minimum. She went through nasty rounds of chemo that left her sick, in pain, and exhausted, yet she still did her best to have a smile on her face. There was no money for reconstruction, counseling, or even the meds that help with the post chemo side effects. Cancer sucks and I hate it. I hate that we live in a world where someone as loving and amazing as she was has to make the choice to feed her family or fight cancer. I miss her so much and I want her back.
Happy Birthday Mom, I miss you.